A Mother's Pride

Chapter 11

Chris' POV

My phone buzzing under my pillow wakes me up. Who could it be and what could they want? It's flipping two in the morning. The bright light from my screen causes my eyes to squint.

"Hello." I say through the speaker.

"Hi. Is this-is this Julia's brother?"

"No, it's Julia's sister." I answer sarcastically.

"I didn't--ugh never mind."

"Who is this and why are you calling me this late?"

"Can you make it to the hospital, I'll send you the location. You have to be here as soon as possible."

"Not until you tell me who you are."

"It's Lesego, I was told to call this number. It's an emergency, your sister is--"

"What about my sister?" I defensively interrupt her.

"Can you please hurry up."

Somehow I feel like this is one of Julia's friends that has a crush on me and is trying to get me to go on a date with her. It has happened a lot so I would not be surprised if it's about to happen again. But why this late? I'm still battling within myself whether to go or not.

"Okay, send me the location."

She sends it as soon as I hang up the call and she is actually at a hospital. I am panicking right now. What happened to Julia? I hope it's not that bad.

She was on her way here, her birthday is in three days and I was taking her out to celebrate her birthday this weekend.

I push the doors to the hospital and make my way to the reception table.

"Uh-I was told tha-that my sister- my sister is here?" I say, panic clear in my tone.

"Morning sir. May I ask? Who is your sister? And can I have your details?"

"What the-are you serious? I need to get to my sister or understand who called me and you're telling me about my flipping details?"

"You don't have to use vulgar sir. I am just followimg procedure. In case you're lying about a call or whatever the case may be."

"Oh my gosh! Do you think I have the time to wake up at two in the flipping morning and come to cause a scene or something? I have a life woman and right now you are wasting my time. I don't even know why I am here. Geez! What--"

"Are you Chris?" A woman holding a clipboard asks behind me and I turn to her, leaving the one who was giving me bad service. She is wearing a nurse's outfit and her body is very petite. Her white nursing shoes squeak down the silent, sterile hall. Her sympathetic eyes meet mine. Her head falls and that induces anxiety somewhere inside of me.

"Yea- yea I am. Uh--where is Julia?"

"Uh, can we sit?" She bites her lip.

Something must be wrong, I can sense it. The hair on my skin has just risen and the way this woman speaks makes me nervous.

"Ok cool."

"So... Julia was involved in a car accident. Her husband and kid are being taken care of but--"

"But what, what? Spill woman!" I raise my voice at her because she is the reason my adrenaline is rushing right now. I know she did not deserve it, but I could not help it.

"We tried to save her in the ambulance but she could not, she did not--"

What? What? What? What did she just say? I stand up from where I was sitting and I throw my car keys to the floor. Well, I thought I was throwing them at the floor but they hit the woman that was giving me a bad service earlier. I am not even sorry for it.

My mind just derailed off. Lord please tell me that I am dreaming. Julia didn't make it? That's messed up.

I need to see her. Right now.

"I need to see her, where is she?" I say my thoughts out loud.

"We were waiting for you. She's still in one of the rooms."

"Can you, can you take me there?"

She does. We are in front of the room when I nodded, signaling for her to leave and assuring her that I will be okay.

"Take all the time you need." She says and leaves me there.

I slowly reach for the door handle, it's like my joints cannot  get commands from my brain anymore. I rest my arm on the handle, battling whether I should just go ahead and open. But every time I move the handle, my pulse quickens. It's fear, fear of what lies behind this wooden door.

I open the door, gasping for air. The room is dark and I cannot  identify whose body is lying on that deathbed. Am I even ready to see her?

I still have high hopes, hopes that it isn't Julia and that it was a false alarm or whatever.

I reach for the switch without even looking. My eyes are focused on the body-like figure that rests on the hospital bed.

When the light went on, my heart jumped, as if someone sneaked behind me and scared the hell out of me. I walk towards her. Her body is covered and I am still hoping that this is not Julia.

I walk slowly and my heart is pounding against my chest, and my chest tightens with every breath I take. I swallow the huge lump created down my throat. I clench my fists and that's when I realize that I do not have my car keys in my hand. I do not even care right now, what's important is seeing the owner of the body that lies just in front of me.

I was told that it's Julia, but mistakes happen right? Maybe this is the person who owns the car that they collided with and they found Julia's phone and thought it was that woman's. Maybe Julia is taken care of and is yearning for her brother's hug, in whatever ward she's at.

If that's the case, why is my heart pounding like it wants to escape? Why are my hands sweaty and shaking? Why is my brain fuzzy and why am I getting dizzy? Why do I feel like I am about to wet my pants?

I open what they covered her with, with my eyes closed. I didn't realize I was keeping tears in until they escape because I closed my eyes.

Her eyes are closed shut, no sign of breathing, no sign of a pulse and that just made my breathing and my pulse quicken more.

Could there be a chance that she is just sleeping? And maybe when I touch her hand she will wake up.

I start to hyperventilate, and the tears in my eyes make my vision blurry. My lip is quivering and even though I am an adult, I need someone to squeeze my hand really tight. That, that was Julia's job. Whenever I was not feeling okay and I felt like I was breaking down, like my life was falling apart, she would squeeze my hand really hard and assure me that everything will be alright.

I slowly reach for her face, her head is covered with a bandage and has a huge spot of blood on the front. I want to see her wound.

I place a kiss on her cheek and my tear falls onto her. I slowly move my hand from her face down her stomach then to her arms. I intertwine our fingers together, it's different now. Her fingers are just lying there, not squeezing mine. I feel so alone.

"What am I supposed to do without you? How am I going to fight my battles without you? Why would you leave me? It was dad, now it's you.

"Please greet dad. Tell him that although he made me mad, I still love him and I miss him a lot. What am I supposed to do with the tickets I bought for our weekend?"

Why do I feel like this is my fault? I should have told her not to come this weekend, I should have done something. It's my fault for planning this stupid weekend away. I should have just visted her house and surprised her. Right! I just had to be a little bit over the top.

"I love you Ju-I love you Julia. I will always love you sis."