Broken

Alone

"When exactly were you going to tell me?" I asked maintaining my intensity.
"Tell you what?" Colette shot back at me.
"Don't play with me right now, Colette. When were you going to tell me you are also the lead agent on my stalker case?" I asked and Gil just looked at me, obviously digesting this information.
"How about that you think that The Junkyard Killer is linked to my stalker? Did you not think that was something I and this team needed to know? Was it your idea to keep those letters from me, too?" I continued but she didn't answer me.
"Tell them who I am. Go on. Tell them!" I yelled.
"FBI Chief Dr. Lilian Russell."
"And who does that make me?" I pushed.
"My boss." She hissed.
"You should know, Supervisory Special Agent Howard Rowland's body was found in the forest south of NYU along with my brother Evan's body and now Malcolm's missing." I told her and watched her visibly recoil from me as her eyes well with tears.
Howard was Colette's boyfriend of six years.
"He never should have trusted you!" She yelled at me stepping towards me aggressively.
"Me? I'm not the one that was withholding information! Howard knew everything that I knew! What else haven't you told me?" I shot back at her not backing up.
We stood chest to chest as she just looked at me pain coloring her face causing me to pause. I knew that look. It colored my face a fair amount since the start of the year.
I sighed.
"What did I tell you when we had our meeting before you even started working The Junkyard Killer case?" I asked softly.
"We can't be enemies, Colette. People are dying and they're still dying but we can save Malcolm... if we work together. Howard trusted me and Malcolm."
"I know he did." She sighed barely looking at me.
"Then help me. Help me find him." I almost pleaded.
After a long moment she nodded at me as my phone rang.
"What have you got Ash?" I asked answering my phone walking out of the shed.
"You aren't going to like this." She sighed.
"So far I'm not liking today at all." I told her.
"There's a camera in that shed. It's a live feed but I was able to hack in and go back to the time of Malcolm's abduction."
I looked back into the shed instinctively.
"You're right. I don't like this. Send it to me and track the signal? Find me where it's going."
I motioned for the others to join me while I waited for the link to come through.
"Close the door." I whispered.
"Ashlyn found a camera with a live feed in the shed." I told them once JT closed the door.
I looked down at my phone as it signaled that the link came in.
"She was able to discover the exact time of the abduction." I looked up at Gil and cued up the video.
"John. I know you're here." Malcolm's voice called off screen at time stamp 19:40.
Malcolm pushed the door open with the unregistered gun we'd found under the table. A man I could only assume was Paul Lazar, came barely out of the shadows behind him knocking him to the ground, his head slammed against the ground, the gun flying out of his hand. The man pinned him down on the floor.
"Remember me?" Paul asked looking down at him.
I still couldn't see his face clearly.
"They'll find you." Malcolm said quietly.
John grabbed him by the front of his shirt pulling him up towards him.
"They'll never find us where we're going."
He punched Malcolm in the face knocking him unconscious. Paul disappeared back into the shadows before grabbing him by his ankles and dragging him away creating the blood smear I found when I entered the shed.
The video stopped but my head was spinning. I was analyzing everything Paul had said and something stuck out to me.
"They'll never find us where we're going."
"Excuse me." I muttered walking away from them.
"Lily?" Gil found me sitting on the front steps of the house minutes later.
"I should have been here. If I'd been with him we'd have been at his mother's... Shit. We have to tell Jessica." I looked up at him.
"Lily. We're going to find him." He tried to assure me.
"How? How are we going to find him? We're almost two and a half hours behind them." I sighed checking the time on my phone.
"Paul's underestimating you, Lily. You're smart and you know how to find him."
"No? I don't know how to find him." I said as the hot tears fell down my face.
"Of course you do, Lily. You are the best there is. If anyone can find him, it's you. We need to go talk to Jessica." He told me.
"Okay." I sighed.
"Gil. Lily. Is everything okay?" Jessica asked us when she answered the door in an elegant purple off the shoulder dress.
"May we come inside?" Gil asked.
"Of course." She stepped aside before gesturing us into the living room where Ainsley sat.
"What's going on?" Ainsley asked looking at me.
Gil started to speak but I stopped him. I needed to be the one to tell them.
"Sit down with me, Jessica." I said as strongly as I could.
"Lily. What is going on?" She asked me as we sat on the couch next to Ainsley.
"At 7:40 tonight Malcolm was abducted, presumably by The Junkyard Killer, from the home of Matilda Watkins." I explained as gently as I could.
"Wait... He's missing?" She asked me.
"Yes." I answered fighting to contain my emotions.
"Where were you?" She asked me, looking at me not with anger but with pain in her eyes.
"Jessica..." Gil started.
"No. Gil, it's okay." I sighed.
"I drove up to NYU. Evan and I had been arguing since our parents died. They found Evan's body in the woods south of the school at 7:30 this evening." I explained.
"He wanted you to fix it." She said referring once again to her son.
"Yes. He did. I shouldn't have gone. I had this feeling when I went to leave. Anxiety... I even walked back to him, but..." I sighed.
"Lily. This isn't on you. I know you'll find him." She told me and Ainsley reached over her mother and took my hand.
"There was a video of the abduction. The Junkyard Killer said, 'No one will find us where we're going.'. I know it's going to be hard but I need you to do something for me. I need you to try to remember anything and everything you can about the camping trip Martin took Malcolm on right before he was arrested." I looked up at her.
"Will it help find him?" She asked me.
"It might. Paul told Malcolm that he was there on the trip. I think he might have taken him back to the campsite they went to back then." I explained.
She nodded at me.
"I'm going to do everything I can to find him." I assured her.
"We know, Lily." Ainsley found her voice.
Gil and I left Jessica's and despite my protests he decided that we needed to stop by Malcolm's apartment.
"We're not going to find anything useful here." I sighed, my heart aching as we walked into his apartment.
"Maybe. Maybe not." Gil answered a step behind me.
On the counter was one of Malcolm's daily affirmation cards and a small black box.
I picked up the card, I release and forgive myself for my mistakes.
I closed my eyes to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over.
Instinctively, I picked up the little black box and pulled off the top.
"Lily, wait..." Gil called once he noticed me but it was too late.
Inside the box was a sparkling platinum diamond ring. My fingers shook as I raised them to touch the three diamonds, a large center stone flanked by two slightly smaller stones. Simple, elegant, perfect.
"Is this...?" I looked over at Gil.
"I didn't know he'd had it out." He sighed.
I replaced the lid on the box and set it gently back on the counter.
"You're not going to..." Gil started.
"He'll ask when he's ready." I answered not looking back at him.
"We'll find him, Lily."
I didn't speak on our way back to the station.
"Lily..." Gil said my name when he parked the car.
"Hmm..." I answered looking over at him.
"I think you should know that he showed me that ring the first time in January of 2014."
"He left at the end of January 2015." I sighed.
"I know. He scared himself; convinced himself that there's no way you'd say yes." He told me.
"We have to find him, Gil." I sighed.
"We will."
"My Johnnie takes out the trash! He's in here! He's going to get you!" Matilda Watkins screamed from the interrogation room when Gil and I walked into the station.
"What does that mean?" I asked Dani as I walked into the viewing room.
"From what I can tell she's just repeating what she yelled when Paul arrived and was after Bright."
"Is it terrible that I want to kill the old hag?" I asked.
"No. Not at all. From what it sounds like she called him to come home when Bright and Shannon arrived and now Bright's missing and Shannon's dead. She's just as responsible as he is." She told me as we watched her.
"We could charge her with conspiracy to commit murder for Shannon and conspiracy to commit kidnapping for Malcolm for now but that doesn't get us any closer to finding him." I sighed.
"She's not going to tell us anything." Dani said.
"No, she isn't." I sighed.
"How do we find him?" Gil asked me as I walked into his office.
"We have to find the cabin. I'd bet that's where he's taken him." I sighed as my cellphone rang.
"Yeah." I answered.
"Paul's real name is John Watkins. He's the grandson of Matilda Watkins, the owner of the house. Father unknown. Mother Deceased from a massive heroin overdose and she had multiple arrests for prostitution. I'd put my money on one of her John's being his father." Ashlyn told me.
"Hence the name." I sighed.
"Here's why I actually called. Grandfather Benjamin, Matilda's husband, was crushed under a car with only John present. It was ruled an accident."
"Victim Zero." I sighed.
"Do me a favor? Do a deep dive on the grandparents and both names we have for John. I want everything you can find. Especially secluded properties." I asked.
"There's something else."
"I don't think I can handle anything else."
"I know but you need to hear it." She told me, her voice sounded strange.
"They gave Bryce bail. One million. His mom got him out."
"Of course she did." I sighed now understanding why her voice sounded off.
"That was the twenty third."
"Wonderful. Malcolm's missing, Evan's dead, now Bryce is out on bail."
"I'm sorry, Lily. I'll call you back when I have something." She told me.
"Thank you, Ashlyn."
"We'll find him, Lily."
"Are you okay?" Gil asked me once I hung up the phone.
"I can't even begin to process this right now. We just need to find Malcolm. I'll deal with the rest after." I sighed.
We walked into the conference room where Dani, JT, Colette, and Edrisa waited for us. I sighed heavily looking around at the faces before me. Everyone was constantly assuring me that we'd find him but ultimately that fell on my shoulders. Gil and I were the superior officers and the others would have to follow our lead.
I took a deep breath before telling them about what Ashlyn told me.
"I hate to be the one to ask this but how do we know Watkins' going to keep him alive?" Edrisa asked quietly.
"John's MO tells us that." Colette offered.
"He holds his victims for roughly nine days before killing them and Malcolm has a connection to him. I'm sorry Lily, but he'll want to take his time with him and will likely hold him longer."
I nodded. It hurt me to hear that but I knew she was right.
"We would classify John Watkins as a mixed offender/force predator killer." Colette continued after a significant pause.
"Essentially that means he's a planner of average intelligence but his employment history and social standing are unstable to say the least making it nearly impossible to categorize him as either an organized or disorganized killer." I added finally regaining my voice.
"How does this help us find Bright?" JT asked.
"It tells us who John is and how he operates and hopefully where he's taken Bright. It's all psychological." Colette said.
"He bought the junkyard so he would have a secluded place to... to torture his victims." I choked out shaking my head.
I took another deep breath.
"I want JT and Colette to look into property records in New York. Span the whole state. Any secluded cabins bought from 1993 to 1998. We know the camping trip happened from Friday November twenty seventh to Sunday November twenty ninth of 1998. I have asked Ashlyn to perform what I call a deep dive on the names of both of John's grandparents as well as his two aliases."
"How do we know that he'll take Bright there?" Dani asked.
"Educated guess. Ever since we discovered The Junkyard Killer's killing ground he and Malcolm have been playing a cat and mouse game focusing on what happened during that camping trip... The best way to force him to remember it is to take him there. Jar his memory that way." I explained.
"Isn't it a little on the nose?" Colette asked.
"Maybe but it's our best lead right now." I sighed.
"Dani, come here." I called gently once I was alone in the conference room.
"Yeah, Lily."
"Come sit down for a minute." I sighed.
"Gil and I made a decision about that video with John and Malcolm in the tunnel. A unilateral decision without considering how it would affect the team especially you. I was there when you took care of him at his apartment. I know you care about him and it was unfair of us to withhold this video." I told her after she sat down next to me.
I cued up the video on my laptop and hit play.
"Paul?" Malcolm's voice called as he came into the frame.
A dark silhouette came out of the shadows behind him, punching him and slamming him into the turnstile trapping him between the bars.
"Let's see, little Malcolm. Will they come for you?" Paul's voice said calmly.
"Nobody's coming. I'm here alone." Malcolm answered.
"Why did you follow without calling your friends?" Paul asked inquisitively.
"I didn't have time." Malcolm answered.
Paul pushed on the bars crushing Malcolm between them.
"Liar. Why?"
"Because I want answers."
"Hmm. You sound like your dad. Look like him. You even smell like him. I could crush you like I crushed the others. But first, I want to know how you did it. How did you figure out where I kept that filthy junkie?" Paul continued crushing Malcolm.
"I'm a profiler. It's my job."
"No. More than that. Tell me. Tell me how you did it or I will grind you."
"You told me I "interrupted" you. That's all I needed."
"There's more. There's more to it. I know it. How did you know?" Paul pulled on the opposite side of the turnstile increasing the pressure on Malcolm.
"Because we're the same! My dad and I he-he told me all he knew about murder. That's how I know how you think. I'm my father's son."
"Yeah. Some things you cannot teach. It's in your blood. There's hope for you yet."
"W-What happened with the girl?"
"I thought I was gonna have to kill you. But maybe you deserve to know. Wait for my instructions, tonight. Bring your pretty girlfriend."
Less than a minute after Malcolm collapsed on the ground just outside the turnstile I ran up to him and crouched beside him.
I ended the video and turned to look at her.
"That's when we went to Fort Trotten?" She asked me.
I nodded.
"He was playing him?"
"Hmm?"
"Bright was playing John?"
"Mostly. Yes. There is a part of him that really needs to know what happened to that woman he found and on that camping trip. This has plagued him for over twenty years. While he knows that John isn't a reliable source, it's more than his father is giving him. His first priority has and always will be to find justice for the victims." I tried to explain.
"I get it. I worked undercover for two years. It can get personal. I've watched him work. Even during this case he obtained an incredible level of professionalism I didn't expect. It clearly shook him but he was still on it." She nodded at me.
"Do you have tremors too?" She asked me suddenly.
"Not the same way he does." I sighed looking at my trembling hand.
"It's just a lot to deal with it all at once."
"I can't even begin to imagine. First, Malcolm goes missing. Then, you find out Evan was murdered."
"And now my abusive ex is out of jail on bail." I sighed.
"Damn, Lily." She muttered.
"I need a drive." I stood up.
"To where?" She asked.
"No where in particular." I sighed.
"I'll go with you."
"That's unnecessary."
"Bright asked me to look out for you if you were under a lot of stress and he couldn't be here for you."
I felt the tears stinging behind my eyes again as the pain and anger rose up in my chest. I screamed out as I flipped the table. I heard the footsteps of various agents and officers rushing to the room and vaguely I heard Dani turn them away but I was preoccupied throwing things against walls. I didn't know what I was throwing; I didn't care. I felt so angry and helpless.
It was now after six in the morning. Nearly twelve hours since Malcolm's abduction and we were still no closer to finding him.
I don't know how long I threw things around the conference room and when I stopped it wasn't because I wasn't angry or scared anymore but because I was exhausted. I didn't even have the energy to really cry. Silent tears streamed down my face as I sat amongst the rubble.
"Lily?" Dani said my name gently sitting down next to me.
It wasn't that I didn't want to answer her but I couldn't. All I could do was stare at the wall for a long while my mind continued racing and reeling.
"Why was he worried about you?" Dani asked me after awhile.
"After Bryce tried to kill me I started cutting myself. Apparently, it isn't my only destructive behavior." I sighed looking around the room.
"Gil's done worse on a bad case." She nudged me gently offering me a supportive smile.
I chuckled humorlessly. It didn't surprise me to hear that. Gil was extremely passionate about his work, not unlike myself and even Malcolm.
"We're all here for you, Lily. We are going to find him. Together." She tried to assure me.
I nodded and sighed.
"We have to find him... Soon."
"We will."
"Wait... I have an idea." I scrambled to my feet.
"Gil." I said his name walking into his office.
"We need to go see Dr. Martin Whitly."
"How? He's in solitary?" Gil asked standing up.
"And I'm the Chief of the FBI's New York field office. I have the Director's personal cellphone number, and the personal phone number for the President of the United States on my speed dial. I can get us in. Dr. Whitly is the only one that can tell us definitively where this cabin is." I pushed.
Gil seemingly thought about it for a moment.
"Fine, but you have to let me talk to him first." He said.
"If you go in there and confront him he'll just toy with you and we won't get anywhere. He can't stand me. He'll challenge me. You'll be a reprieve." He continued when I opened my mouth to object.
I nodded relunctantly. I knew he was right. If we were going to get Dr. Whitly to reveal the location of the cabin, we needed to play this smart.
Warden Logan Smith was a stoic man who stood six foot seven inches tall. He had a square face with a narrow nose and small lips with hooded brown eyes. His short dark brown hair slicked back.
"You know I can't let you in there Dr. Russell." He sighed at me.
"It's Chief Russell. I don't want to have to call Director Johnston this morning. You know he went on vacation with his wife and son this holiday season but I'm sure he'd be interested to know about your unwillingness to help us save the life of a former FBI agent."
"You can't just call the director of the FBI..." He scoffed at me.
"Oh? Did you forget who I am? Lilian Russell? Daughter of Todd and Stacy Russell? My father was the Director's best friend. He was at their funeral last month."
Warden Smith just looked at me.
"No matter. I'll just give him a call." I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
"No. No need for that Chief Russell. Right this way." He amended.
I looked over at Gil.
"Lieutenant Arroyo is going to start the questioning. I'd like to stay out of sight to start." I explained.
"Is there a reason for that?" Smith asked me.
"I've been here with Malcolm before. We believe that if I go in and confront him that he'll just mislead us." I answered.
"You're probably right." He nodded understandingly.
Smith lead me to the solitary confinement viewing room before letting Gil into the room with Dr. Whitly.
"It's not time for my medications, Mr. David." Dr. Whitly said with his back to the door.
When Gil didn't respond he turned around and tilted his head to the side.
"Officer Arroyo? To what do I owe this displeasure?"