Full kidnapped Liar arc (magic school series)

The whole story (captured in sections)

Cyan: Tsuuuuki–woah. Uh. Buddy....have you been sleeping?

Liar:....mm-mm. //Still has the blanket around him. The stains still remain but on the other side.//

Cyan: your...arm....

Liar: mhm....

Cyan: W-did your heart break or something??? You look like someone dumped you and then fucked your cat or something ó0ò

Liar: //Approaches and clutches. Squeeze.//

Cyan: A-....mm. //hugs back.// I'm guessing....maybe that happened...hhhh.....Tsuki I'm so sorry....fuck man that even sounds painful....

Liar:...I can't....think ....properly...I feel like everything I do is as a cause of a tantrum...

Cyan: pssh. You have every right. Not only was your heart broken but you lost somebody you loved...a lot....no one said you needed to be strong....just go through it...

Liar:...I left Mikhail....he isn't handling it well either but...I can't face him....because then I think of him and I can't...do that....//voice breaks.// God it hurts.....it really hurts...//sob// and it won't stop....

Cyan: //holds him, rubbing his back.// He understands. I'm sure he does because he doesn't necessarily have much capacity to feel jealous or abandoned right now. And I won't lie and say you'll get over it...but you can lessen it...give your body what it's missing. Put him somewhere...the essence of him somewhere. Do you have anything?

Liar: three shirts....his alcohol...and the blanket I have around me...

Cyan: Tsuki. -.- How can you say you don't want to think of him when his scent is surrounding you?

Liar:.....//whine.//

Cyan: Hhhh....But it definitely fucked you up badly....you've pulled back a lot...almost like a shell was shattered. I'm worried about how vulnerable you are now..

Liar: //cling.//......

Cyan: You won't regret this later, will you?

Liar: At this point...I don't even care if I don't recover....

Cyan:...Well then...try saying it out loud. Grieve. No holding back. What's on your mind.

Liar:....It hurts to even think of him. To remember the times when I opened up and got attached...I miss him....And I don't want to believe that he's gone. It's not fair and frankly, I regret I ever agreed to help.....I'd prefer the world went to ruin and we all died just so I wouldn't survive to live through being without him...I didn't want anything to have him...certainly not death....The way he had a hold on my soul...I wanted that hold on him too..

Cyan: Mm...

Liar: //bitter smile.// It's so dumb...but I was looking forward to Christmas with him...and my family....everyone together....if anything before his death, I would have at least wanted that....I was thinking about being more bold...saying more shit that I could've never said before because he didn't know how I felt...even if he'd just end up looking at me all weird and feeling uncomfortable...it was for me because I always knew his days were numbered......then why am I reacting so badly....?

Cyan: Did you know how you'd react or have an idea on what you'd do come his death?

Liar: ....No. I never did. Even when I thought of it...I never knew how it'd affect me...I just knew I'd cry and my heart would break but....I feel so weak....as if....I got hit too hard and...I'm recovering from head trauma...

Cyan: Mentally. You've shattered.

Liar: I did..?

Cyan: That's why I worry. You don't even know how you feel. Everything is so unpredictable. It's a lot to do with the brain.