A Girl Named Callie

<Jasper> A Boy Who Is Being Begged to Stop

Chapter 36

<Jasper Coven>

I'm in the locked bathroom of the Everington Baptist Church on the night of my mom's rehearsal dinner, three nights before her wedding. I'm dressed in a pair of black jeans and a navy button-up. I'm so emaciated that even the extra-small sizes are hanging off of me. When I walked in, Ashley's eyes bulged out of his head and Sophie asked what was wrong with me. My mom caught my eye and she just shook her head, knowing there was little she could do to make me stop. My shakes got bad about halfway through the practice ceremony. Since my part was done, I snuck off to the bathroom, where I am now trying to stop my shaking long enough to get a syringe in my arm.

"Damn it," I say as half the powder falls from my shaking spoon into the sink.

I run some cold water in the sink to get rid of the evidence as I refill the spoon. I draw in a deep breath and will myself to be steady as I flick on my lighter, heating the powder into a liquid. I dump the liquid into a syringe and insert the tip of the needle into the crook of my elbow. The drug swirls in my bloodstream, each passing second rendering me calmer. My slow ragged breaths even out and the shaking in my hand ceases. I put the cap on the syringe and wrap it in some paper towels before I toss it in the trash. I slip the baggie back in my pocket and give myself a few more minutes to get a grip. Once I feel like I can function, I open the door and head back to the rehearsal. I wait outside the sanctuary as my mom and Ashley walk back down the aisle to the cheers of their present guests.

"Glad to see you're doing better," My mom says quietly as she passes me, her eyes trained ahead.

I nod as the rest of the guests follow my mom and Ashley out of the sanctuary and down the hall to the multi-purpose room where dinner is being set up by Pete's Barbeque, my mom's favorite restaurant. The tables are full of large trays of smoked meat and hamburger rolls, mac n' cheese, green beans, and baked beans. The next table over is filled with desserts, many of which are pies from Mrs. Arthurs. Everyone hops in line, but I go sit down at the table that has my nametag at the head of a plate. I pull out my phone and scroll through my messages, even though no one has contacted me since I left L.A. five months ago. Some friends I have.

"Hey, Jasper, not hungry?" Mrs. Arthurs smiles as she pulls up a chair next to me.

"Not really," I say as I slip my phone back into my pocket, my hands shaking again.

"Are you sure? You're shaking." Mrs. Arthurs takes my hand in hers and rubs circles on the back of it. "When was the last time you ate a real meal?"

"Last night." I mumble, willing my hands to stop shaking.

I guess Mateo cut this with something. The high should not be wearing off this quickly.

"Let me get you something to eat, sweetheart."

I don't protest as she stands up to get me food, even though both she and I know I won't eat it. I watch as my mom, Ashley, and Sophie come towards the table with plates laden with food. Sophie looks at me and then turns away shyly as her dad leads her to the seat across from me. My mom sits down in between me and Sophie as Ashley takes the seat across from her. Mrs. Arthurs comes a few minutes later and sets down a plate in front of me before taking the open seat next to me. My mom and Ashley stand up and go to the front of the room, thanking everyone for coming and then joining us all in prayer. I stare down at my nails where there are still flecks of black nail polish from a month ago. Once the prayer is finished, my mom and Ashley come back to the table and sit down, beginning to eat their meal. I move food around my plate with a fork, the smell making me nauseous. My mom looks at me but doesn't say a word.