Some nights I just stare out the window in silence.
Some nights I go right to bed.
Some nights I find it hard to think about anything.
Some nights I can't stop thinking.
Some nights I'm scared the world's going to implode right before my eyes.
Some nights I can't believe I wrote down these stupid lines and actually thought they were okay.
Some nights I feel like I can get so much better and that I will get better.
Some nights I don't care if everybody dies.
Some nights I'm scared they're going to leave me.
Some nights I would rather kill them in the daytime.
Some nights I still wonder why I ever thought this was good material.
Some nights I tell myself I'm only a beginner and that's okay.
Some nights I tell myself it's too little too late.
Some nights I wish I wrote this at least a week sooner.
Some nights I tell myself it's only a calendar.
Some nights I wonder if I'll survive another month.
Some nights I wonder if it's worth surviving another year.
Some nights I wonder if I just should go one more day to see what happens.
Some nights I question why I ever thought about dying to begin with.
Some nights I can't hear anything.
Some nights I can see everything.
Some nights I wish I never knew anything I know now.
Some nights I wish I was the worst person they ever met.
Some nights I think it's already a reality.
Some nights I'm happy to think about it that way.
Some nights I can't believe what I've done.
Some nights I don't care about feelings or emotions at all.
Some nights I wonder if this is getting way too melodramatic.
Some nights I wonder if I'll ever be anything ever.
Some nights I wonder why I still do this.
Some nights I wonder if I should make myself clearer in what I write because there will always be someone to misinterpret it.
Some nights I tell myself not to worry about the big things.
Some nights if they can ever hear me because I think I'm going fucking crazy.
Some nights I wonder if this is just way too much referencing for it to be my own.
Some nights I wonder if I should go back and read this all over before doing anything more with it.
Some nights I tell myself it doesn't matter.
Some nights I wonder what really happened in these past ten years.
Some nights I don't care.
Some nights I realize just how horribly this has turned out compared to what it looked like in my head.
Some nights I think I'm just the right amount of crazy.
Some nights it feels like something too different.
