Altruism and Egoism ~ Fyozai Fanfic

Chapter 1

"...Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans. Neither good nor evil means much to you, I know...but that'd make you at least a little bit better..."

"...How do you know that?"

"Of course I know. I know better than anyone. Because I am your friend."

"People live to save themselves, huh...How true..."

Dazai jerked his head to the direction where his protègé was. Atsushi was reading a book, one that was all too familiar. Dazai had started to walk towards the young weretiger, who was completely oblivious to him approaching.

Due to Atsushi's keen senses, he whipped his head to see his mentor towering over him, curiosity etched on his features.

"What's that Atsushi-kun?" He pointed to the worn, hard bound book with a blue and brown cover that had a smudged kanji written in front that sat on the boy's lap.

"Oh, this? It's a book given to me by the president a week ago. It's a really good book Dazai-san. You should read it, but..." he held the book gingerly as if holding a fragile glass. "Some of the pages on the last part was ripped, so I have no idea how the story ended..." multi-colored eyes were downcast with disappointment.

"But what's the last line of the book?"

"The last line is," he opened the last page of the book and pointed out a line.

"It's 'People live to save themselves.' Isn't it an eye-opener Dazai-san? It's amazing how one statement can make someone feel this way, it-...Dazai-san? Are you okay?" The brunette was caught staring at the book silently, chewing his bottom lip in the process.

"I'm fine," he waved it off with his hand. "It's almost noon you know? Kunikida-kun said that he needs you. A. S. A. P." He said with a tease in his tone that made Atsushi widen his cat-like eyes and dash to go to the blonde man.

"Poor Atsushi-kun..." Dazai picked up the book that was laid open on the couch. He traced the edges lightly, almost caressing. He took a quick scan on the slightly tattered pages with fading kanji. Amber irises darkened as memories of the past began to haunt his entire being. His hands trembled - shook - with terror, a stinging pain on his chest he knew he was always familiar with, and most of all, that bitter-sweet feeling of nostalgic memories.

He stared, stared, stared, and stared at the last legacy his friend had left him. His mind a blank slate for the first time. Dazai clutched the book to his chest and bent down, his chin reached his knees. He bent down to try and cry.

Cry until his eyes were bloodshot red, cry until he had no tears to cry out. To truly feel the pain humans experience.
He stayed in that position for what seemed like forever. It was like the world had stilled. The warm sunlight peeked from behind the thin curtains, the sounds of people and cars bustling about outside, and the specks of invisible dust floating freely around the room.

Dazai gently placed the book beside him. He crossed both arms and his legs, and emitted a low hum. "Shall we meet up like the usual?"

A satisfied smirk followed.