"It's a gamble," she warns him, but she's already leaning up slightly to meet him halfway.
"We will either heal together," he concludes, mouth already pressed to hers, "or we will both be destroyed."
And, together, they fall.
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Sometimes, it's hard to look at him.
Now, she sees him. Really sees him. Since he pointed out two months ago that they hide behind the illusion of security in all that is the very opposite of safe, she cannot help but look at him and see the boy he tries to hide.
A boy who is lost. And grasping desperately onto a fake identity, clinging to it in hopes that his facade might become real and he might finally belong in this world that has rejected him just as much as he has rejected it without even realizing.
He is a boy looking for fate to give him a reason to live. Just one.
And it breaks her heart. Causes an ache in her chest that calls for her to try and fix all his fractures and fissures when she has only ever learned how to destroy.
(Name) isn't delusional. She is not a hero. And he doesn't need one.The only person she thinks capable of saving him is Osamu himself.
Or rather Dazai.
She did lose their bet after all.
"(Name)~" Dazai sings tauntingly, practically skipping beside her as they leave Mori's office, latest assignment in hand while Chuuya recovers from an injury sustained on their previous mission.
She sighs, but doesn't say anything else. She'll let him have this little victory and maybe punch him 'accidentally' later, taking Chuuya's advice.
Besides, she has by now concluded that it is impossible to truly and completely comprehend Dazai's complexities. She understands him better now, yes, but ultimately, not as much as he understands her apparently.
He proved it just last week, too, laying down her entire history and how it has come to affect her now, siting all the assignments they'd carried out together as proof of his observations and hypothesis.
(Name) had been left more than a little stunned to say the least, and her immediate response had been to shut him out until she could catch her bearings after being laid so bare against her will.
"You're still avoiding me then," he comments now, hands clasped behind his back, his voice tinged with something cold and disheartened.
It prompts her to glance at him and frown at the faraway look in his eye. "It's hard to get used to," she admits with a sigh. "Give me time, Dazai. I'm not used to feeling so vulnerable around someone."
"Ah, yes." He nods in understanding. "Vulnerability could've gotten you killed in Cosmos-- it means weakness to killers after all."
She bites the inside of her cheek, stomach turning in discomfort. Dazai has gotten easier for her to read but it is nothing compared to easily he can see through her now. It had only been a matter of him getting used to her for him to deduce what is essential to her personality and being.
