FEELINGS

"You can go in now." The petite secretary told her.
"Thank you." Sola smiled at her even though she was going crazy after waiting for hours.

"Hello Sola." Dr Joe greeted as she entered his office.
"Good afternoon sir." She shut the door behind her.
"For how long have you been outside?"
"About 2 hours." She lied. She had been out for way longer that that.
"So sorry for that. How are you doing? Please take a seat."
"Thank you sir." She sat. "I'm fine. How is work?" She asked the doctor.
"Work is nice. You can call me Joe."

Sola looked at the ring in his middle finger, wondering how much had changed over the year, how everyone had grown and moved on, everyone but her. After fighting herself for months, she finally decided to call Dr Joe so she could move on with her career, he had promised to help her after all. She was initially worried that he would reprimand her and refuse to help her after wasting an entire year but after the phone call with him, every doubt she had faded away.

"Let me see your CV."
She gave him her file and watched him confidently. Her CV was the perfect CV, she was well grounded in different areas and her result was bright too.
"Why did you stop working with the Bakares? I went to their house one day hoping to see you but I learnt you no longer worked with them." He raised a brow as he looked up.
"I had to be in Asaba."
"You had to?"
"Family issues." She said.
"Oh, is that why you stayed back for a year?"
"Yes sir."
"Joe. Hope all is well?"
"All is well." She lied.

All wasn't well, nothing was well. She was barely able to afford the apartment she rented. She could only pay half of it with the money she earned working as a sales girl at a pharmacy shop in Asaba. She had not planned on working in Asaba, but staying in Sheila's house all day with nothing to do made her entertain suicide thoughts. Also, Sheila's mother did not like the idea of her sitting idly at home, she always mentioned it indirectly until Sola decided to get a job. She also missed her mom. She wanted to see her everyday but she wasn't sure of how she felt towards her. She didn't know what she would say to her or if she had forgiven her completely. She didn't know if the sight of her would wake up her sleeping pain and anger. She was doing terrible, far from well.

"This is impressive." The doctor nodded. "I didn't know you had political blood in you."
Sola laughed timidly. If only he knew she joined school politics to have her CV more enticing.
"Do you still hear from the Bakares?"
"No." She looked away sadly.

Her mother wasn't the only person she had missed. She also missed the Bakare family. At a point when she was getting better, she began to regret ever throwing her old SIM card away and not writing down their numbers like she did for some other people, like Dr Joe. She felt she needed to be away from them and all their drama but the only person she needed to be away from was herself. She realized that late and painfully. She figured they would have all moved on with their lives.

"Did you live the house on bad terms?" He asked intrusively.
"No." She lied. "I just needed to be....in Asaba."
"How was the therapy work with Kola?" He smiled.
"Umm just massage therapy. It was ok."
"When you left, he started coming here for check ups and medical care. I suggested coming over to his house with any other practitioner he may need. He declined, so I figured you must have done something wrong for him to not want us, medics in his house again." He laughed, to soften his accusation.
"What? No! I didn't do anything wrong. You can ask him." She defended herself. She also felt anxious at the possibility that she could meet him again once she started working there.
"Alright. If you say so." He returned some papers to her. "I would personally call you in some days time to let you know when your exams would take place. Hopefully you would pass."
"Hopefully." She said. She knew she would pass, she had been reading excessively since she arrived Lagos.
"Well, that's all. You can leave now."
"Thank you sir." She put the papers in her bag and got up.
"Joe."
"Thank you Dr Joe." She smiled and left his office.