❤5SOS PREGNANCY SERIE❤

Have any advices?

There is this boy that I love so much. He doesn't know, he won't, no one will. The only one that knows is my brain, my heart doesn't cause its been dead for a while. Since I fell in love so hard with this boy, it stopped. This is why my brain is struggling by its self trying to find a way to stop falling in love with him. The other problem is that my brain isn't doing things right, he tells me he's worth it, he tells me he's the best, he tells me its worth all the tears, heartbreaks and betrayals because he thinks one day it'll happen, but I'm still here waiting, with a dead heart, still on my little cloud thinking about him and how happy we could be. Its just so hard. I'm so powerless. 😞💭💜 ~me.
This is my story in 1 paragraph. I went to daycare with this boy, he's perfect, I love him so so much! I've been in love with him forever, he never noticed, he calls me retard (joking) but it feels terrible to hear this. Theres this girl thats in my class, they've been friends since they're like 2! They keep hugging..HE hugs her first! He pushed me out of the way yesterday he said "no one can hug me apart from Molly" Aka his bestfriend since 2. I had tears in my eyes, We were doing a snowball fight so I blamed it on "having snow in my eyes." Today I just couldn't take it, he hugged her so tight RIGHT infront of me, I couldn't stand it I cried in front of him. He stared at me and asked if I was ok. I said "yeah." and put a fake smile on my face once more. He just kept staring at me worriedly and made that "I'm not sure I believe you" smile. I can't take it. Looking at him hurts, hearing his voice hurts, talking to him hurts, Loving him hurts. You guys have any advice?😔💕 I'm not feeling good these couple weeks cause of this. I'm calling SOS right now. You guys are the only one who really cares, I have fake friends, they don't even give a sh!t about me. They wouldn't cry if I'd die. No one would even dare come and say goodbye to me one last time.😓😓 thanks..
sorry If I annoy you guys!