The Consulting Detective and His Blogger

"For me?" "Anything"

 I reached out and collected John's phone that he was currently shoving towards me with a list of emails featuring dull cases. The options were actually very limited, John had lied about the inbox being full, most likely to get me out of the flat and get off the topic of Moriarty. 

"Sherlock?"

"Yes, John?"

" Have you picked a case?" 

"Oh, yes the one about the one about the nurse who has random thing pop up in her house that aren't hers." Sherlock had already solved the case the moment he read the description. The nurse had a stalker who fell in love with her so he began leaving her gifts after breaking into her house. He wasn't going to tell John however because he wanted to pick an easy case so he could get back to his family as soon as possible before John gets hurt or involved in the Moriarty case.  

"Okay good, erm I have to get back to Mary now. It was good seeing you Sherlock." 

"Always a pleasure, John," Sherlock stepped forward a bit, advancing onto John where Sherlock was looking down to him. John started to turn towards the door  and then hesitated. He took a breath then turned back towards Sherlock. 

"Sherlock," John took in a deep breath then looked down at the carpet," Moriarty got us last time, but I'm not going to let that happen this time."

"John you hav-"

" No, Sherlock you aren't  going to go through it alone this time."

"Okay." And with that John had left, again. I was alone once more. Alone used to be my protection, now it was my weakness, but I will not involve John this time. He has something to live for and people to take care of. 

I'm Sherlock Holmes. I am not weak. I do not care. I do not love. Why so suddenly now? I had fallen for John Watson before, but not like this. I had hurt my army doctor from the first fall, but I don't want to hurt him from the second. Now that I lay here, curled up in my chair, I am relieved that I never said what I meant to say before I got on that plane.

I love you, John Watson. I have loved you since you shot that cabbie for me. You cared for me as no one else did. I loved you when you kidnapped by that mad man. You were willing to die with me. I loved you when I showed up only in a sheet in Buckingham Palace. I loved you when you punched me in the face. I loved you when you cared for me in Baskerville. I loved you when I was on top of the rooftop about to jump. I loved you when I saw your face again in the restaurant. I loved you when you forgave me in the train. I loved you when you were trapped under a bonfire. I loved you when you asked me to be your best man. I loved you when I played that song I wrote specifically for you. I loved you when I left the wedding early because I decided you didn't need me anymore. I loved you when Mary shot me. I loved you when you stayed with me those few months before you forgave Mary. I loved you when I shot Magnessen. I love you now. I know you will never love me back the way I do, but I needed to tell you before I left. I. Love. You.

"Sherlock is actually a girls name," is all that came out. I am okay that it only came out. I only could imagine what would happen if I said all of what I meant to say. He would hate me. I would never see him again. I need to know my boundaries. I can't hurt him. Not again. I can't hurt me.

*Flashback*

I was greeted by a bright white light. Squinting my eyes so I could see clearer, a figure was at the side of my bed. Where was I? All I remember was Mary......I was in the hospital. St. Barts judging by my surroundings. Obviously. I was hooked up to a machine. Morphine. I directed my eyes to person at my bed side. It was John. He looked like he was almost crying. A single tear slipped down his face. I have only seen him this distressed when I jumped off this very building. Why was he crying? Why is he not with Mary? "Hello John," I said, my voice cracking a little.

"Sherlock?"

"Really John who else would it be? I am the only one in here. I'm sure you would not be stupid enough to not notice the door open."

"You've been shot, Sherlock...... I..I"

"Obviously," while feeling the pain right underneath my rib cage.

"I thought I lost you again."

"Well you didn't. As you can see I am quite well, but don't worry about me. We need to worry about Magnessen."

" No, you are not going after Magnessen until after you get better."

" But this is boring. Do you have your gun on you?"

" Yes and no, you can not shoot the wall."

"But John."

"No."

I gave a small smile to John, making him laugh, remembering the day I destroyed Mrs. Hudson's wall.

" John I..." The nurse came in to check my morphine and other unnecessary tubes. All pointless.

She gave us a quick smile an exclaimed, " You two are just so cute! You gave us a real scare,' speaking to me in a rwelsh accent "I am so glad you can see your lovely boyfriend alive and well." now speaking to John. "He has been sitting here with you since you arrived. Hasn't gotten up to eat or anything. I will be back here in an hour to check your morphine again, so I will just leave you two alone to catch up." Probably new to London. She had a very heavy accent so just recently got a job here at Saint Bart's Hospital.

Why did John not say anything when she said boyfriend? That is not one of my concerns as of right now though. Magnessen must be stopped. " You should really go eat, John, and find Mary." He looked a lot less tense and sad than before now that I am awake.

" You are right. I need to find Greg, now that you are awake."

"Greg? Who's Greg." I chuckled.

"Okay you just stay here."

*End of Flashback*

K yeah I just update whenever the fuck I want I have no idea where this story is going and I started this like two years ago but whatever you guys might get updates but idk I just write whenever I'm bored and I'm not even vry good at it