Losing Hearts

Chapter 2: Raids

It had been two days since you last spoke to Alexis. You refused to return to discord, ignoring the notifications from your friends. The last thing I want to do is speak to quackity. He'll just bring up his date and hurt me without knowing. I can't just sit there. 

I sigh, knowing damn well I have to join them soon. I can't keep hiding like this. I roll out of bed, putting on a beanie to cover my messy hair. I plop onto my desk chair, enter the chat Alexis made recently. I put on my headphones and turn on my mic, ready to fake my excitement.
"OH SHIT! Y/n is on!" I hear Hoover shout into his mic. I've missed his enthusiasm but I still feel sickly.
"Hey, sorry I was gone for a bit." I heighten my vocals to sound more intrigued. "What are we doing today?" 
"MOSHI MONSTER RAID!" Alexis screams. I shoot back, nearly knocking my chair over. His voice causes a ringing in my ear.
"Fucks sake, Quackity." Aksel groans. Hoover grunts to let us know he's alive.
"This is exciting! New raid!" Alexis shouts. This is going to be a long stream.

I finally shut my computer, officially done streaming for the day. I'm still on call, but ready to hop off.
"Ah, how'd your date go?" Hoover mentions. There's silence, as if Alexis has to think.
"It was good. She's really nice." He sounds disappointed. Was she not what he expected? "I'm seeing her tomorrow, actually." He pipes up. I bite my lip, not wanting to make a noise.
"Ooooo, lucky guy." Aksel chuckles. Hoover uses his female voice to mock Alexis's date. I remained unspoken.
"Is she the one?" I can't stop the words from falling out of my mouth. Part of me needs to know.
"I'm 19, Y/n! I don't know!" Quackity becomes defensive. "She's pretty and really smart, but we just met." 
"I was just asking, jeez." I huff.
"Y/n, are you jealous?" Hoover mumbles. I'm certain he's joking, but I can't be sure.
"Hell no. Why would I think of Quackity that way? He's annoying." I spit. The group goes quiet. I rub the bridge of my nose. I really don't want to be here. 
"If you dislike me so much, maybe you should stop joining the streams." Alexis barks. At this point, I'm willing to do down head first.
"Fine, I will." I exit the chat, leaving them alone. I remove my headphones and beanie and fall back into my bed. Honestly, I'm almost glad to be out of there. Now I won't have to hear about his date or future girlfriends ever again. A win-win in my book. Obviously, I'm lying to comfort myself. It's too late to do anything to fix my relationship. Now I just have to keep moving forward.

I watch Alexis's stream, even though I'm technically not allowed to. His eyes are red and puffy, but he's smiling.

"This game is so stupid!" He laughs. It's nice to hear him laugh. I don't really want my absence to upset him. He doesn't deserve it. "Y/n, look at-" He stops mid sentence before realizing I'm not there. His face drops and I notice his eyes become glassy. He wipes his face with his jacket sleeve, the chat is going crazy. 'Is she dead?' 'Did they break up?' 'They weren't even dating. She probably left him for another streamer.'. All lies. The chat is quick to spread rumors or make assumptions and Alexis notices. "Guys, she's not dead. She left the Stream Team." I forgot about the name he gave us. I found it charming while Askel begged to change it. "We had a fight but I'm sure everything will be alright soon." He assures his fans. I begin typing into the chat, knowing how bad this will end up. 'I'm not coming back, Quackity. That fight was it.' I press enter and the message sends into the chat. His fans go crazy once they see it. Everyone is saying 'rip in chat' as Alexis eyes darken. He's seen the message and it's clear he can't process it. "No, we can fix this." He tries to sound strong, but a voice crack gives him away. 'Not this time, Ducky' I press enter before closing the 'Twitch' tab. I don't want to see his reaction. I just need him to know it's over. I won't come back.

"Y/n, please." Askel pleads over the phone. I roll my eyes. This is the third time this week he's called me asking to talk to Alexis. I hate it. I made my choice pretty clear to him and I'm not returning. "He isn't returning our calls, it's been three days. Y/n, he might answer to you." My heart stops at the amount of time he's been gone. Alexis usually comes around within the hour. Nothing upsets him deeply, he gets over it. "We're worried about him."
"I'm doing it for you, not for him." I growl. I can't say no to Askel when he needs me. He might be insane but he's a great person. I hang up on Aksel and quickly call Alexis. It rings three times before a rough voice answers. It's familiar, but broken.
"Alexis?" I mutter. The call ends immediately, making it painfully clear how he feels. I don't blame him. The last thing I said to him was almost manipulative. I knew using his nickname would cut him but not this much. An immature mistake. I suck in my pride and call once again.
"Please, stop." His cracking voice answers. I clench my fists, I'm not letting him slip down into a spiral.
"Alexis, answer your friends' calls." I demand.
"Last time I checked we weren't close enough to order each other around. I'll answer when I want." He sounds tired and worn out. "By the way, so glad you left me. I found out how much I liked that girl and now we're official. So, fuck you." He hisses, hanging up again. I turn off my phone, not wanting to talk anymore. There's nothing left I can hold onto, we're done.