SONGS OF WINTER | pjm

08 | SOUL

JIMIN COULD HAVE sworn his heart had completely stopped functioning for a brief moment. the sound of winter actually letting a genuine laugh escape her chest seemed more melodious in his ears than it truly was.

it had started out as tiny giggles she tried to hold back. but suppressing her giggles seemed to have only fuelled the sounds. and she burst into a squeaky laugh – that reminded him of the sound of rubber duck being squeezed – in spite pressing a hand to her mouth. "how did half the ingredients end up on your face?" she pointed. "hm?" he snapped out of his momentary daze, brushing his cheek with the back of his hand.

they were in the kitchen of winter's home, making puff pastry. music played in the background, creating a more lively atmosphere. jimin had decided to surprise her and nala with a visit. when she'd opened the door in a flour stained apron, he got curious and asked for a baking lesson.

"that's because this is more difficult than it looks. i should have asked for a more basic lesson." he sighed heavily, picking up his rolling pin again. "don't they sell this stuff at the grocery store?" he glanced at her as he began to roll the dough flat.

"they do. but i prefer to make my own pâte feuilletée." she responded, watching him work. "stop showing off. i speak some french too." he mumbled with a pout. a small breathy chuckle left her lips and she moved closer to him. "you have to be more gentle, jimin. otherwise, you'll rip the dough." she placed a hand over his.

for a moment, jimin was certain his entire system had shut down at the sudden physical contact. the heat emanating from her warmed his skin. his breaths came in speedy choppy puffs, a tingling sensation travelling from where their skins touched to every part of his body.

"i know you're strong but you have to be delicate with puff pastry." her fingers wrapped around his. "you don't want it to be a soggy mess later." she added softly, urging him to roll the dough with more care.

"um, okay." he rubbed the tip of his nose with the back of his hand, smearing more flour on his face in the process. his heart was beating far too fast and jimin began to worry that it might either find its way out of his chest or collapse from overexertion.

her hand fell away from his and he didn't know if he felt disappointed or relieved. she took a short step back and he let out a shaky breath. "i-is this better?" he inquired with a stutter, avoiding her eyes. "much better." she answered in that throaty voice of hers before returning to rolling out the puff pastry in front of her.

jimin was finding himself increasingly worried about his cardiac health as the day went on. it had jumped back and forth between atrophic and hypertrophic actions in the short time he'd spent in the kitchen with winter.

"you know, i was thinking..." he started after a minute of silence, hoping to distract himself from his reaction to her. "what about?" she glanced at him. "remember when you mentioned that your grandma was finally returning from her long vacation?" he fixated his gaze on the dough.

"yes. why?" she made a neat fold of her dough, eyes moving to him again. "you could do like a cool theme at sweethearts of pastries from around the world to celebrate her return." moving the rolling pin aside, he tried to imitate her delicate folding gestures. "you could call it... around the world in eighty cakes."

"what?" she paused to look at him. "it doesn't have to be cakes it could say bakes or something." he shrugged, finally garnering up enough courage to meet her gaze. the corners of her eyes crinkled before she burst into another fit of squeaky giggles, hand over her mouth. "like the book?" she finally stopped laughing to look at him.

"yeah. most people would think of the movie first though. but yeah, that's what i meant." he nodded, trying to still his racing heart that seemed to have completely fallen for the sound of her laughter. although he wasn't sure why she'd laughed, he loved hearing it.

"that's a really cool idea. there's literally a baking website with that name though." she showed him her lopsided smile. "are you kidding me?!" his jaw dropped and she giggled again. "no. but ours will be much better." she answered the same moment aretha franklin's voice came through the speakers.

"wait, you're really going to do it?" he thoughtlessly took a step closer to her, eyes lighting up. "yeah," winter stared behind him at the speakers. curious at her action, jimin listened to the lyrics of the song.

when you smile, i can tell we know each other very well.

he recognised the song by the queen of soul and watched the expressions that passed over her face at a lightning pace. she finally looked at him again and jimin realised just how close they were. neither of them said a word as they continued to stare into each other's eyes.

he could feel his heart pulse in tandem with the music. without thinking much about it, he leaned in. soft plump lips only a breath away, winter took a step back. half shut eyes fluttering open, he looked at her. she cleared her throat, eyes bouncing around to everything in the kitchen except him as she put even more distance between them.

pressing his lips together, he straightened. he ran his fingers through his hair, threading butter and flour dustings through the pink locks. "ah," he let out on an awkward note, trying not to feel hurt. "there's something important i have to tell you, winter."

her hands twiddled her hair, eyes desperately avoiding his. "what's that?" her voice was barely audible over the music that filtered through the awkwardness in the air.

somewhere in the back of his mind, jimin's sense of reason was telling him to stop and not say anything. but sensibility overpowered sense and he let out the words his lips were aching to spill.

"that my heart goes into a frenzy whenever i'm around you. one moment, it beats way too fast and the next, it might as well not beating at all. no matter how hard i try to act calm, i can't stop it. my brain gets fuzzy at the thought of you, but my feelings could not be clearer to me then. like the rising and setting sun. like the waves beating against the shore. like flowers blooming in spring. it just feels so natural and right to me."

he swallowed thickly, brushing his hair back. "in the simplest of terms, i love you beyond comprehension." he confessed softly. she was unnervingly still as though she hadn't heard or understood his words. jimin stared at her, feeling the cracks slowly weave their way through his heart.

"you don't need to say anything. i'm not expecting you to feel the same way. i'm already aware that putting your trust in other people isn't a walk in the park for you, so there was no expectation in my confession. i just hope you don't push me away and we can still remain friends after this."

winter twisted a braid around her finger, tugging on it distractedly. she could not meet his gaze, eyes fixated on the folded dough they'd been working on. jimin regarded her for a moment, his chest heaving with a deep breath. "i've made things very awkward. so i'll just leave and give you space to catch your breath." he slipped off the apron he was wearing.

he hurriedly washed his hands, not bothering to dry them off. he wanted to leave before his heart completed its shattering process. "bye, winter." he waved before heading for the door. "see you later." he mumbled. but the fear that he wouldn't wrapped around his heart in a stifling grip.