Marked

Nineteen

I was not ready to go to school the next day. All I wanted was to just stay home. Home, where I could easily avoid what was going to happen.

I had already seen the pictures and videos all over the internet. High schoolers didn't seem to know how to take it easy on someone.

When I woke up the next morning, I wanted to just stay in bed, where it was easier to hide from the harsh reality that I knew I was going to have to face sooner or later. I knew it was my fault. I had brought this upon myself. Didn't make it any better to think about, though.

But there was no way my dad was going to even think about letting me stay home. I had already missed a good three weeks.

I got dressed, an outfit that surely wouldn't stand out. I was already going to be doing enough of that the next day, and I didn't get anything to eat, and I didn't talk to anyone before I was out the door and making my way down to my car.

I just had to get it over with. Once it was over, it was over, and everything would be fine after that. It couldn't get any worse than it already was.

And there were a few other gay kids at my school, they didn't have it too bad. They had a few rough days, but it got better.

I drove to school, ignoring the text messages that I had gotten from Parker. While I had done some really stupid stuff before, I would never text and drive.

As soon as I got there, I didn't get out of my car. I tried to tell myself that I was ready for this, and I tried to tell myself that I would be fine, that nothing bad would happen. But I had no way of knowing that. I wasn't most of those other people. Everyone knew who I was. I was one of the best players on my team, my name was known.

I pulled out my phone.

'Good luck with today. I know it's gonna be hard, but you can do it. If stuff gets hard at any time, just call me' followed by a heart emoji.

I smiled a little bit. Parker's message gave me a small sliver of confidence. Still small, but it was enough to get out of the car.

As soon as I was up by the doors, I heard people start to whisper.

I kept my head down, not bringing myself to look at any of them. Nobody was talking directly to me, so I wasn't going to start anything with anyone. It was easier to go through my day without starting any conversations. It would be easier on me if that was how I did it.

Someone nudged me, and I looked up and saw Luke, one of my teammates next to me.

"So, you missed a lot. We've been winning our games still, though with you gone, we had to use Ivan a lot, and we both know that he really shouldn't be on the team. Anyway, please tell me you can play again soon. It's rough without you, and we can't use any of our plays! Ivan is a dumbass and doesn't even know them!" He said.

Why was he even talking to me like everything was normal? Maybe he hadn't seen it? He had definitely seen it though, who hadn't seen it by then?

"Um..." I tried to remember what my doctor had told me. That felt like so long ago. It had been two weeks until I had come back to school in the first place, and everyone had known I wouldn't be able to play, I was still using the crutches up until the day before. "He said I can try practice, but have to take it easy. And I can play a little in games," I said.

"Thank God, I was so worried we were gonna have to deal without you. And I would actually lose my mind," We both walked into the school. "Practice tonight?" He asked, starting to walk in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, I'll be there," I said. As soon as he was gone, I went back to looking at the ground. I had no idea what to do until school started. The library would be quiet.