Kiri(Baku?)Kami I probably won't finish

Chapter Twenty-Three

Once Mina had officially left, I stood by myself for a little while, just staring into space thinking about who knows what when I felt someone grab my wrist and pull me back towards the dorm rooms.

"Gah—Denks?" I stumbled for a second before I found my footing and followed him like a normal person.

"We need to talk," he replied, uncharacteristically monotonously. Oh, you're fucked now.

"R-right," I stuttered out, now just following him to his room in silence. I felt like a little kid about to get scolded.

We plopped down on his bed, and while now he was looking at me with some intensity in his eyes, I couldn't meet them with my own.

"Ei, you can't just keep doing that," he said frustratedly. "If you're gonna reject me, that's fine. If you accept me, great. But you can't just bounce between 'get away from me' and 'we're definitely gonna date', because that's just not fair."

"It's just—" I started to defend myself.

"I know it's hard, Ei! That's why I want to help you through it! I said I'd wait for you, I never said anything about standing on the sidelines while you go through it alone," he groaned exasperatedly, standing up and running his hands through his hair. "I just want to be there. Stop... stop pushing me away, Ei," he muttered, his voice breaking.

Denki reached up and wiped away his own tears with his sleeve. I stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless. He extended a hand to me. "Don't just run away from me. Please."

Slowly, I unfurled my hands and reached out shakily to take his steady one. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Today was just hard."

"I know," he answered, his thumb running over the back of my hand. He sat back down next to me.

Everything is hurting him. Everything you do makes things worse. Come on, not again. He couldn't possibly care this much, you're not worth the trouble. "What are you thinking, Ei?" He asked, touching my face. I realized he was wiping away a tear as I looked at him. There's got to be something wrong with him, there's no way—

"There's no way any sane person would try so hard for someone as worthless as me," I choked out. "I don't deserve it."

He let go of my hand and put his newly freed one on my other cheek, so that now he was holding my face. He smiled sadly. "You know me. I'm sane as ever." He put his forehead against mine. My breathing got shallow. So...close...

We had been closer before, but right now, I was scared of the small space between us. I sort of... wanted to close it. No you don't. You don't really want that.

"Is this alright?" Denki asked. Despite myself, I nodded. His hands slid down from my face and around my waist. "How about now?"

I'm not using him if he's the one going first, am I?

"Th-this is good," I breathed out shakily.

"What do you want?" he mumbled. I could feel the hot air escaping his mouth and hitting my lips.

"I... I want to be fearless with you. I don't want to be scared anymore. I want to feel like I'm not the one using you," I spoke before really thinking about the words. As soon as they left my mouth, I knew they were true. I took a deep breath. "I want to kiss you. But I donmphnng—" before I could refute my own statement, he closed the gap between us.

For a split second, I was in Cloud 9. Denki was here. Right here. There was no changing that.

He pulled back after the quick kiss. "No buts. No room for wrong answers."

"I—" I wanted to start to say something, but I wasn't sure what.

"I think I get it," he cut me off. "You're scared of starting, aren't you? You feel like you're using me if you initiate." I nodded. He was much smarter than he let on most of the time. "That's easy to fix, then."

"Mhmm," I agreed, knowing what he meant. "Don't go too fast, though."

"I would never." He pulled me in again, and our lips brushed against each other. He began to kiss me again, and I returned it.

It was slow and so full of every emotion mixed together. I absolutely melted into him, and he adored it, I could tell.

"Are you still okay?" he asked me, speaking against my lips.

"Yeah," I grinned. "I'm better than okay."

He laughed softly. "Good. So am I." He kissed me once more, then backed up slightly so he could look at me fully. "Damn, you're gorgeous," Denki whispered. I giggled, probably blushing.

"Denks..." I grinned, my hands moving to rest on his thighs.

"Do you think you're ready?" This question, while expected, took me aback a little. I paused, thinking.

You can't do it, you still like Bakugo. But then again... You love this dork.

Slowly, I nodded. "Yeah. I think so. At least—"

"You want to be," he guessed, and I nodded again. "If you're not positive, I don't want to push you," he slid one of his hands back up to my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. "I'll—"

"Wait. I know." I bit my lip. "I don't want to make you wait so long. Denki, I..."

"It's not so bad," he shrugged, smiling lopsidedly. "After all, its only been a couple weeks since the whole deal with Bakugo and Midoriya. And that last conversation with us all... that was hard for the both of us. I understand if you're not totally over him."

He really is too good for you. "I don't know if I can get over Bakugo so fast. But it doesn't really matter to me that much, it's not like I like you any less because I still have a crush on him. The worst is that voice though, that keeps telling me this is wrong," I sighed.

"It just can't be stopped, huh?" Denki moved so that he was sitting back on his heels. "That damned little voice. Nothing we can do about it?" I tapped my fingers together annoyedly, and a little nervously. I shook my head. "That's fucking annoying. Guess we'll just have to ignore it. Maybe it'll go away."

"Well..." I rolled my shoulders back. "What the fuck, why not? Denki... do you want to go out with me?"