To see you with another being so happy even though we never said goodbye all I wanted was for you to be happy that's what I said I said I wanted to give you the world I said I wanted to give you four head kisses and hugs and cuddles until he wanted me to let you go I said I wanted to give you picnic dates at the park underneath the stars while we slow dance to our favorite K-pop song even if it was not the one I said I wanted you and all that you are and you said that you liked me too that was months ago but my feelings never vanish element I thought some people were cute but in my head and my heart I knew none of them could compare to you I guess when I told you is the moment you let me go or did you just want my feelings to not be hurt that night that fateful night when I confessed to you and you said you felt the same but the distance of miles upon miles that brought us together but also tore us apart was what was The matter along with some family things but I wish didn't matter as much as they did we call each other nicknames that have my heart racing and butterflies are wrapped in my stomach like they are on their way to a better place but can escape to the flash muscles fat and organs better my body I wish I could tell you how frustrated and hurt I am but I can't because I take that as apathy I'm always apathetic about something because I have been taught to not show emotion like a normal human being should I have been taught to keep a happy face to save my own to save someone else's and to smile and laugh even though I feel like I have been stabbed in the back with a razor sharp knife over and over again like I am on some kind of episode of 40 hours or some criminal minds episode I really wish you didn't send that picture of her kissing your cheek and you smiling widely that sparkle in your eyes did I ever see it? How I wish you could smile for me like that but to be in love with your best friend and have someone else call you there on how awful would that be I guess I was the one who called you they're on I want to the relationship that we felt at first it was a joke and then I caught feelings and now I feel like the feelings are making me weaker than I was before I was OK when I was treated on I was OK when I was lied to I was OK with my own mother didn't want me Anymore I was OK being alone but around that time was when I found you and then you go on in at 12:30 in the morning you tell me babe wanna play a game and you bring up the iMessage games and you say I'm shit at it but let's play anyway while I'm trying to sleep so I can wake up at six in the morning so I can be at work by seven and not eat anything until 12 and then I go to work again sometimes I forget I forget what it's like to have the butterflies because you never talk to me anymore I made a group chat and it seems like you got jealous because I said I love you to someone else but it was platonic you know that because no matter what it was always you But I question if it was ever me I feel like you wanted to keep me safe because you knew what I went through but at the same time you know you cannot keep up with the fake feelings that you had or am I just being confused and frustrated and hurt you apologize to me but you weren't specific about what you were apologizing for was it the way he might've tricked me with your fake feelings and your lies you're fake I love use and your fake babes and honeys in SweetHeartz you apologized but are you actually sorry I was it brought to your attention by one of our so-called children because their perceptive and know how easily my heart is broken because you were the one who put it back together again my fragile heart that was broken to pieces but I didn't care because I have been broken so many times before but now it feels like it's been shattered on the floor like that glass in the GOT7 you calling my name music video that I watch over and over again hoping you'd send me at so that I would know that you were just being Careless in the moment because you were happy. That I finally had the guts to gush about you in front of other people and be soft for you instead of having my rough exterior that I always have so I deleted the messages I deleted them off the group chat because your friend who didn't know what you really were was in it deleted them because our child told me you were uncomfortable with it or would be so I deleted it out of thoughtfulness for you but me and I want you to see those messages so I know how much I cared for you instead I left her I'm so whipped for her in the group chat full of people that I don't really know but they all seem to know you better than I do I still remember how we met shit we talked about our love of K-pop and stray kids and all things that are cute I loved for reading no matter if it's a one shot to shot or a whole series how we could talk about our day and never get bored was I the one who is never bored and you were just sitting there waiting for me to shut up and go away I wonder why you are apologizing for is it because you love her or is it because of the simple mistake you could've made is it because you feel guilty for stringing me along if that's what you do is that what you did to me Or are you sorry for simply sending a photo that you thought looks cute and not realizing that she was kissing your cheek so softly tell you had a real smile on your face for the first time in photos either way I hope you're happy
