The Insane Boy

Chapter 11 - Blades

How? I have watched her, day in day out, and she is free. Free from the burden of her past, of the knowledge that if they find out, she will lose it all again. Even I couldn’t see it, not in her movement or words.

Suddenly, the guilt hits me. She has been pushing through everything and still smiles, how could I noticed? I see everything, every lie that rolls of a tongue I can sense. But I wasn’t watching June like that. I didn’t think it was possible to fake happiness.

Maybe it’s easier. Maybe faking happiness, like death, is easier.

I stand up, and the others glance at me confused. But I don’t look at them. Instead, I walk over to the boy on unsteady feet, until I am kneeling centimetres away from his face. Gently I hold up his head until his eyes are level with mine.

Fear, pain and loss. That’s all I can see in this boy’s eyes. He is gone already inside, his body is just hanging on. All he is left with is some animal will to survive.

“Are you sure?” I whisper

He nods, the movement small but deliberate. I see something else in his eyes. Hope. Hope that this will end now.

I pull the blade from my pocket and drag it cleanly across his neck. In seconds the life drains from his body and his muscles slacken. Carefully, I push his eyelids down. He looks so young, unscathed and innocent.

The Facility cannot touch him now.

I turn around to find everyone staring at me, but not with horror, only pitiful understanding. We all know he is the lucky one, the one that escaped the easiest way.

I clean the blade on my shirt and slip it back into my pocket. The note, now speckled with blood, is carefully ripped up before I push it into the drain. Gone, but not forgotten. I don’t think I could ever forget it, what hides behind the laughter. But then, I probably didn’t think I could forget my entire past either.

And that’s never coming back.

I take my place back against the wall and close my eyes. I think about the nameless boy across from me, think about his faceless friends and family, his forgotten past and his soul. In my mind, I guide him to peace, to a place where the pain doesn’t rule him.

And when I open my eyes, I forget him. I didn’t take his life. That was taken by the facility long ago. I felt more guilt leaving him in his pain that releasing him. But now I must forget him. I cannot hold onto the dead.

Minutes later, the door groans open.

I am on my feet in moments, sudden energy lighting my aching eyes. Around me, everyone else is dragging themselves up, some clinging onto the walls for support. But we are up, staggering chaotically towards the open door.

I literally collapse onto the warm pavement, eyes squinting into the glare of the sun. I realise that they must have left us in there for longer than 24 hours for it to be light.

I can hear the deep breaths of someone lying next to me. They are gulping in the clean air. I didn’t realise before, but now the air, crisp and clean, seems to caress my lungs and clear my head. I let my cheek rest against the ground, warmth from the pavement spreading across my face.

Simple bliss.

The door shudders as it closes, but I don’t care. I got out, and whatever I have in front of me, it cannot be as bad as the misery that manifests in that room.

I sit up slowly, letting my eyes adjust to the sunlight. We are all sprawled out on the ground, faces playing with smiles of relief. Around us, maybe 4 Guards stand with there postures relaxed, watching but not interfering.