Broken Promises

The Confrontation

Lena's POV

"Honey?" I yell once I enter the house, assuming Stef is upstairs in bed.

"I'm in here" I hear her respond from the living room.

"Oh. What are you doing in here?" I ask surprised.

I drop my bags by the door and walk over to where she is sitting on the couch.

"Waiting for you" she answers.

"Does your head still hurt? Are you okay?" I ask as I go to sit next to her.

Before I can sit, she stands and walks around the coffee table, sitting in the chair directly across from me.

"Yeah my head is fine. I just didn't want to ruin Brandon's day."

"Why would you ruin it?" I ask, confused.

I see Stef visibly swallow the lump in her throat before she answers with a question of her own, "Are you having an affair with Monte?"

"No" I answer shocked and confused about how we ended up here.

"Are you in love with her?"

"No!" I answer even more confidently.

"So there's nothing going on between the two of you?"

"Why are you asking me that?" I ask, trying to understand why my wife, who knows me better than anyone, would be asking me these questions knowing that I am incapable of cheating on her.

"Why don't you just answer me?" she whispers.

"There's nothing going on" I try to assure her.

"What about when you kissed?" She whispers, barely audible.

I look down and pause, feeling guilty for reasons I don't fully understand, but finally understanding where all this is coming from.

Stef's POV

Watching Lena go pale in response to my question had an effect on me I had not expected. Everything I had been planning--from the speech, to the anger, to the demands--went out the window. What must've only been seconds of silence, felt like hours. It was as if, for those seconds, time stood still. Deep down inside I had been holding on to hope that she would come home and somehow explain this whole mess away. That we would laugh at the whole misunderstanding and everything would go back to normal. But now, although she hadn't yet answered my question, her face and silence pretty much told me what I wanted to know.

I felt broken. Everything inside of me hurt. But I still needed her to say it out loud. Her silence only further intensified the pain. I blink back the tears that threaten to fall, willing myself to remain strong.

After a moment she finally answers slowly with tears in her eyes, "I did not kiss her. She kissed me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to upset you."

Out of no where, not expecting this response, the rage returns, "You know, I feel like an absolute idiot! I've had that woman in our house..."

"Nothing is going on. Nothing has ever gone on" Lena interrupts, looking me in the eyes once again.

"What about in front of the fire, last night, just the two of you?" I smirk.

"No" she whispers, shaking her head.

"Jenna says that she thinks Monte's in love with you and that's why they broke up."

Lena sighs and rolls her eyes, "Jenna is being paranoid. Monte may not be in love with her but it's not because she's in love with me."

"You know it's really incredible because you've been giving me such a hard time about keeping secrets from you, even in therapy, and here you are sitting on the mother of all secrets." I say, returning to my planned speech.

As I'm about to tell her to just stop talking, pack her bags, and go, she once again interrupts me.

"It was a kiss. It lasted a second. I was surprised. I pulled away and I made it very clear to her that I'm in love with my wife. I should have told you about it because it was nothing."

Hearing this, the tears finally fall. Although I know deep down that she's telling the truth about what happened between her and Monte, it doesn't explain why I'm just now hearing about it. It doesn't explain why she allowed things to get that far and then hid it from me. I still have many questions that I don't have the answers to, but I say the one thing I'm sure of.

"If it was nothing, I think you would have told me."

Feeling mentally exhausted and broken inside, I get up and walk away, unable to handle anymore tonight.

Lena's POV

Once I hear the door to our bedroom close, I allow myself to fully break down. I begin to sob uncontrollably, grateful that none of the kids are home. Stef's words cut deep, because deep down I know that they are true. Why didn't I tell Stef? Why did I feel so guilty? While I didn't have an affair with Monte, something had happened between us. I had allowed her to get too close although I began to suspect that she had feelings for me. While I did not feel the same way, and I did not make a pass at Monte, I did welcome the attention she gave me. I should have put a stop to it but during those days, when I missed feeling close to Stef, Monte made me feel good, wanted, and less lonely.

I've never seen Stef so hurt and knowing that I was the cause of that pain, broke my heart. I didn't know what to do, how to fix it. Did she even believe me? All I knew was that I couldn't lose her. We had to work through this. Although everything inside of me wanted to barge into the room and make her look into my eyes while I explained and apologized, I knew that Stef needed time and room to process everything that had been said and giving her that was the least I could do.

After about an hour of crying, I have a headache and am exhausted. Assuming that Stef had fallen asleep, I head upstairs planning to change and softly slip into bed but before I even reach the bedroom door, I can hear Stef sobbing inside of our bedroom. Tears quickly spring back to my eyes and before I can stop myself, I rush into the room and kneel beside her side of the bed where she is laying down, wanting to take away her pain.

"Stef...baby...I'm sorry" I say, running my fingers against her wet cheek. "Please baby. I promise you. Nothing happened. I love you. Please tell me you believe me. Just tell me how I can make this better?"

"Go away" she responds.

I sit there, thinking of what else I can say. What else I can do.

"Please..." she whispers.

Hearing her sound so weak and vulnerable, I realize that this is unlike any other rough patch or argument we've had in the past. Understanding that this is not something that I can fix by apologizing profusely or being overly affectionate, understanding that this is not going to get fixed overnight, I respect her request, stand up, and walk out the door.