Waking Up Alone (L.S)

Already Out The Door

Maybe one day we can have our lives back. I miss home.

"I always said that I'd mess up eventually

I told you that

So what did you expect from me? To call?

I know you said that you'd give me another chance

But you and I knew the truth of it in advance

Mentally, you were already out the door."

 It's been a few years since they've been together, and each new day destroys Louis even more. It was only supposed to be a short break, for the band and for him and Harry. Louis wanted him to be happy, but when they were together they were miserable. They had the weight of the world on their shoulders, they made mistakes, they hurt each other. There was so much anger that kept building up and finally it broke them. Louis loved him so much that it tore them apart. They could blame whoever they wanted, but they both had a part in it, they both agreed to it: to this life. Harry was sixteen, Louis was eighteen. They were too young for that amount of pressure. There have been so many lies told that they couldn't even remember the truth anymore. Louis is not fine anymore.

Today may be one of the hardest days for Louis. He's got to get ready for his tour, HIS tour... without Harry. He could write so many songs about him, he could try and be with so many people, but nothing will fix the hole that was left when he walked away.

He finally pulls himself out of his thoughts, it's 5:30 am and he has a day full of interviews, album prep and practice for his tour that starts in a few days. A busy day helps with keeping him out of my thoughts.

He throws on a pair of ripped black jeans, a black sweater, and vans. He brushes his teeth and fixes his hair, trying to be presentable. He feels like no matter how hard he tries, he will always look a little rough, but at least no one sees what he looks like when he crawls out of bed with puffy eyes.

Before he heads downstairs, he paints a smile on his face. He tries not to let his pain show, he already has family and friends worrying about him so he has to fake being happy for them. As he walks down his marble staircase, he shakes his head and hands, trying to shake the sadness out.

As he nears the bottom steps he smells the freshly brewed coffee awaiting him. "Good morning Eleanor," he smiles slightly, taking his spot on a stool at the kitchen island.

"Morning Lou, didn't sleep well?" She said a little sadly, watching him take a small sip of his morning coffee. Tea was never the same without Harry here, so coffee it was for Louis. He nods, glad he has a good friend in her. Sure, when she was first hired he didn't want to be friends with her, but over the years they'd become close. The world thinks they're together, but Eleanor is just doing her job.

Eleanor is a sweet girl, it could have been worse, but she understands that she could never replace Harry. A lot of fans hate her, they think she is keeping him and Harry apart, but in reality, she's the one keeping Louis together. Louis wishes he could be with Harry publicly, but he can't. Harry doesn't even want to be with him privately anymore.

"So, are you coming with me to my interviews or just meeting me at the studio later?" Louis asks nicely, not exactly sure what Eleanor's plans are for the day.

"I figured I'd just show up around lunch time. I can stop and get us lunch on my way." They had to be papped going somewhere today, to keep up the image. It was good for her to come to the studio, that would help with his new songs, the label could pretend they were for her. She knows who they are about, they don't really say his name though. It hurts too much.