Books, Boys, and Basketball: Senior Year

GRADUATION DAY

I have no more hope for love. Just the painful existence Drew has cursed me with where his absence from my life only makes the pain worse.

Everyone now knows Drew broke up with me after prom, robbing me of my happily ever after, if there even is such a thing, and I don't know which is worse. Having someone dump you and stick around like dangling bait or having someone dump you and then completely ghost you.

I've been a fool for Drew for a long time. He got in my head... crept his way into my heart... and I let him take over. Completely. I handed over the reins to my heart, trusting he would make good on his promises, and he hasn't.

To make matters worse, I still have to look at him every day. I used to think having him disappear on me completely would be worse, but I was wrong. Having him here, walking around like forbidden fruit I can no longer touch or enjoy is excruciatingly painful. And in just two short weeks we'll be walking across the stage. Going our separate ways afterwards.

The only consolation in all of this is that Drew has kept his distance from the female population. And I don't know if it's because he has to take care of his mom or he's trying to be considerate of my feelings, but whatever it is I'm grateful. I don't think I can handle seeing him with someone else.

"You okay?" Patrice asks, walking up beside me.

"Not really. Not unless you know the secret to falling out of love with someone." I sulk.

"Tell me about it." Her gaze flickers over to Scott who's talking to Vicky.

"Is something wrong?"

"I think Scott is seeing Vicky behind my back." She confides.

Again, my thoughts go to what I saw between Vicky and Scott myself. I could ask Drew about the two of them if I actually went home for a change, but knowing him, he wouldn't tell me the truth anyway. He'd protect his brother at all costs.

Shoving all thoughts of Drew to the darkest abyss inside my mind, I turn to Patrice and tell her, "If there's any advice I can give, its where there's smoke, there's fire. Go with your gut and give him hell Trice."

There. I did my friendly duty for today. I even silently say a prayer to God to lay Scott's shit bare if he is cheating on Patrice. She deserves to know the truth, and if he's even half as good at lying as Drew is, she'll need all the help she can get.

I'm so focused on fixing Patrice's issues with Scott that I walk right into my own. Literally. I collide into Drew who catches me before I fall and helps to steady me.

Reflexively, I jolt away from him. Seeing him is bad enough without being so close to him. His close proximity only makes things worse. Drew looks around at everyone who quickly finds someplace else to be, leaving the two of us alone.

I really need to pay closer attention to my surroundings...

Drew's standing so close to me I can smell his cologne. Every scent he's ever worn has been involuntarily committed to my memory, reminding me how it's one of the things I like most about him. He always smells good.

My heart is already thudding in my chest when he steps closer to me. "Do you hate me?" He asks.

"No," I lie, shaking my head.

YES!

I hate him and I miss him. But I know better than to tell him that. It won't do us any good anyway.

"Well, for what it's worth, I miss you."

A small kernel of hope blossoms and I hate myself for it. I mean, is there no end to how pathetic I am?