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21 letters.

I have received 21 letters from Jonah over the course of three months. What am I supposed to do?

I am still crazy in love with him, but how can you look at someone in the eye when the entire time they were with you, they lied to you. Trust is completely broken and I'm not sure how we can ever rebuild it.

"Okay, so if you're not going back to him, put in a good word for me." Carla my roommate says interrupting my thoughts. And yeah, I'm a freshman in college. Weirdly enough, at the same on Jonah goes to, but classes haven't started yet.

"Carla, we just moved in together and you already want my boyfriend? You've never even seen him." I groan.

Meet Carla. My roommate. Blue eyes, blonde hair, and an absolute sweetheart.

"Ex, boyfriend." Carla corrects me and I roll my eyes. "Seriously though, go talk to him. Do you not want some kind of closure?"

I let that sink in. I do want closure. But what am I supposed to say to him? Do I write back? Call him?

"Anyways, do that later, we are going to a party tonight. Put on your best 'I'm looking for rebound sex' outfit." Carla exclaims.

"But I don't want rebound sex," I grumble to myself as I yank a dress from my messy closet. "Will this do?" I show Carla the dress. A skin tight, pink, silk dress with spaghetti straps.

"Ohhhhhh, sexy." She winks at me. "We are getting drunk out of our minds tonight. Might be the only time we can."

I adore Carla. We met a week before becoming roommates and we instantly clicked. I found out that she is actually also from Montana which is also really cool. She's also such a party animal. I love that about her. I think back to when I argued with Jonah about a party. Yeah, that was a complete shit show.

"Nat, we're gonna become greatest of friends alright?" Carla says snapping me me out of my thoughts. "That being said, this is going to be the best year of your life. Fuck Johnson, we are not crying over boys this year."

"His name is Jonah." I mutter. "But yes, I agree with that statement." I smile. Deep down, I knew Jonah would do something that would make me cry.

"Okay, good." She nods. "Hurry, we're going soon."

I put my dress on as I look at myself in the mirror. It was a really pretty dress, to tell you the truth. I do my make up which really was just adding some mascara to my eyelashes.

What's Jonah gonna be wearing? Is he even going? Im snapped out of my thoughts when there's a knock at our door. Ok, who could it be? Carla goes to open the door and two guys stand in front of her. 

"Hey?" Carla says to the guys who just showed up at our door.

"What's up?" One of the guys answers as Carla lets them in. "I'm Jake, and that's Ethan. We're floor mates... are you guys going to the party?"

"Hell yeah, are you?" Carla answer back.

"Yes we are, pretty girl." Ethan answers this time. Carla closes the door as the boys take seats at our desks. 

Everything was sort of awkward to be honest. No conversation was made for a while.

"Holy shit, are you guys really this boring?" Ethan sighs running a hand through his hair. Ethan had really dark hair, he had a whole dark vibe to him. Tattoos all over his arms and some on his neck. He had a black pair of skinny jeans and a hoodless grey sweater.  "Do you want to drink? Like before the party?"

"We aren't allowed-" Carla started but was stopped when Jake pulled out a bottle of booze. 

"Eh, fuck the rules." Jake chuckles making Carla smile nervously. He hands Carla the bottle and she takes a long swig. My attention diverts to Ethan who is looking at me.  He stands up and sits down on my bed right beside me. 

"I'm Ethan." He says with a short nod. 

"Natalia." I say back. 

For 15 minutes, Ethan and I continued talking and I really liked his vibe. 

"Cause, I didn't drink, I'm gonna drive." Jake suggests as we all stumble to the car. By we all, I mean Carla and I. I'm surprised Ethan isn't tripping after how much he drank.

We arrive to the place where the part is being held and wow. Is this what a frat house is? It is huge.

"Okay, come on Nat." Carla tugs at my arm. "Let's get drinks." I follow her and we take around 3 shots. We then go find Ethan  and Jake. 

Then night flies by as we're dancing. Ethan has gotten with at least 5 different girls which makes me laugh. Jake on the other hand hasn't even danced with anyone.

"Do you see your boyfriend yet?" Carla yells in my ear over the loud music. I skim over the place and answer.

"Nope, I guess he isn't coming." I say back not caring much. "I'm gonna go get another drink, be right back." 

I walk-- stumble towards the kitchen and pour myself more alcohol. Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone walk up to me.

"What are you doing?" They ask, but the voice sounds all too familiar.

"Getting a drink." I answer as I look up and immediately regret it.

"Since when do you drink?" Jonah asks with a sigh. I can not believe my eyes. Jonah is standing before me, a beanie on top of his messy hair and a cigarette between his lips. Saying he looked good was the understatement of the century.

"Since when do you smoke?" I ask back.

"Since you broke up with me." He admits. "Why actually did you break up with me?"

"You know why I broke up with you." I say angrily slamming my cup on the counter.

"You don't even know the whole fucking story." He says back.

"Are you a drug dealer?" I ask as he takes a long puff from the cig.

"Was, yes." He answers.

"That's enough of a reason for me to break up with you." I answer turning my back on him.

"Ok, so you don't even want to know why I had to do it in the first place?" He argues. I turn back around and look at him sadly. I open my mouth to say something but got inturrupted.

"Dude, I was looking for you." Carla says before realising who I was talking too. "Who's this?"

"Jonah." I mumble and her eyes pop out of her head.

"This is your boyfriend and you are fine with letting him go? It better be a good fucking reason. Anyways, hi, I'm Carla." She says holding her hand out.

"Jonah." He says back with a smile and shakes her hand.

"Sorry to take her from you, but we are leaving." She says pulling me away from Jonah. When we were far enough, Carla started. "Ok so why are you not with him?" She asks as we get near Ethan and Jake.

"He was a drug dealer while we were together and he never told me. I found on by hearing him on the phone." I sigh.

"Girl, why does that make you mad? You like Ethan and he's obviously a junkie." She says making Ethan look back at us.

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A/N ; okay! chapter 1 finally here <3 this chapter is pretty rushed and bad but ill edit it. I hope you guys like Ethan bc I sure as hell do

dedicated to ; the people who have been waiting for this

comment ; if your ready for this book 

vote ; !!!


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