Where the Mountains Meet the Heavens

Beware the Cunning Serpent (Eden, 4000 BCE)

"So, your transfer has been approved, Aziraphale. How have you been keeping?"

Aziraphale blinked at the angel who had just appeared next to him on the Wall, towering a good head over him. Aziraphale was clearly supposed to know him, and there was something familiar about the broad, good-natured face under the long braid of golden hair. For a moment he shifted in awkward embarrassment, and then it came to him. "Ah, Shamsiel. Of course."

Shamsiel grinned at him. "Harder to recognise me without four heads, right? Seemed to make more sense just to keep the talking one down here. Miss being able to roar and screech, though." He stuck out a bronzed leg from under his robe. "I'm finding it a bit hard to get used to the feet, too. Ticklier than hooves."

"Yes, I should imagine so."

"Easier for you, I should think. You Third Sphere lot already looked a lot like the humans. Well. It was nice to see you again, Aziraphale, you're always a ray of sunshine, but you can clear out now and look after the humans if you like. I'm taking over the gatekeeping."

"Really? A cherub? I mean, you were Lord of the Fourth Heaven."

"Don't ask me. I'm a Watcher now. We're being reassigned all over the place. Besides, after the mass exodus, everyone's a bit eager to show a friendly interest in the humans. Don't want to be suspected of Questioning the importance of the new creations. Even Michael's joined the First Sphere, and she's a commander type. I hope she isn't too bossy, answering to Uriel is bad enough."

Aziraphale shuffled his feet. "Well, you know that the Fallen have expressed an interest in mucking things up for the humans. They sent up a Serpent," he added a little diffidently, trying not to give the sense that the Serpent had been rather friendly and quite good company actually.

"You're right. Rumours of a second War, and all over these ape creatures, no wonder Michael's on alert. Anyway, no humans in Eden any more, mate. Some sneaky bugger let them out." Aziraphale shifted uneasily. "They couldn't have got past the gates without help. Not with the flaming swords we have."

Shamsiel was peering at Aziraphale's waist as if looking for the sword, and panic was rising in Aziraphale's throat, when there was a slithering rush and a form shivered into shape on Aziraphale's other side, black wings spreading.

"Some of my best work. So glad you noticed," Crawly sneered, and the rush of relief in Aziraphale's heart almost made him dizzy. He clasped his hands and gave Crawly a wavering smile of gratitude, careful not to let Shamsiel see. "My Boss gave me a special commendation for smuggling them out."

"Yeah, and I heard our  Boss gave you a special curse over the apple business. Piss off, snake."

Crawly pouted. There was no other word for it. "Can't really do worse to me than She already did, could She? Anyway, it seemed to be just symbolic. My legs work just fine in this form, and I can eat just as well as I ever did. I particularly," he added, leaning around Aziraphale to hiss at Shamsiel, "enjoy apples."

"I prefer pears," said Aziraphale hastily, trying to get in the way before any arguments, or worse, smiting started. "And grapes. And gooseberries, they're nice. And pomegranates, have you tried a pomegranate yet?"

Crawly laughed. Aziraphale turned back to him and noticed, with an intake of breath, that the setting sun was lighting up the rich red curls like fire, and his eyes were glowing as if Aziraphale was the most amusing, endearing thing he'd ever seen. "Doesn't matter what the fruit is, so long as it's forbidden."

Shamsiel turned to Aziraphale. "Be careful with this one, mate. I knew him in the old days. Prince Lucifer's precious little boyfriend — well, we all know how that turned out." Aziraphale shot Crawly a nervous look, and Crawly, without even touching his wings, gave the impression of preening.