Memories of Aspen

thirty three

thirty three

                “she couldn’t get pregnant… she was too thin… the doctors suggested she gain some weight and when she did it turned out it wasn’t because of her weight… she just couldn’t get pregnant.”

                the bottle of cheap whiskey was half gone- thanks to livvy- so i reached for my flask and took a swig, leaving the bottle of whiskey to liv.

                “she fell into her depression, again. we tried to help her and she did everything she could to get better. she wanted to get better. for her family. for her future husband….”

                husband. she moved on with her life. she was engaged… she was going to get married.

                “they were in the process of looking into adoption… they even had a few meetings lined up…” livvy took a long drink. “but she just…”

                “gave up,” i finished for her.

                livvy nodded.

                the wind picked up and livvy shivered as she tucked her legs beneath her bum and took another drink.

                “do you have any pictures?” i asked. “of her, i mean…”

                livvy nodded and set the bottle down before she reached into her coat pocket and slid her black iphone out. she scrolled through her phone before she turned the device towards me.

                i hadn’t seen her in so long.

                much like livvy had said, she was thin, thinner than i had ever seen her.

                her hair was no longer an unnatural dyed hair color. instead, her hair fell down her shoulders in soft black waves.

                i had always wondered what her natural hair color was…

                “is that… was that her natural hair color?” i asked. aspen sat on the tailgate of a red pick-up. she wore a black cardigan over what looked like a pastel pink dress. liv sat beside her. her tan arm wrapped around aspen’s shoulders as their cheeks were pressed up against each other with matching grins. i handed her her phone back and tried to ignore the stab of sadness i felt.

                liv nodded and sadly smiled.

                “that was the last picture we took. we were at one of declan’s family bbq’s.”

                i nodded as i took a sip from my flask.

                “i should have known… i should have sensed that something was wrong… i should have…” a sob escaped liv. “i should of fucking known!”