Must Love Hyenas

14: New Home

Joker and Harley cleared away stacks of dusty pallets from a portion of the warehouse. They kept one pallet that was the least warped by age and moisture and stacked it on top of a set of four metal drums. The fuel in the drums had long ago been used, the empty containers left behind when the warehouse was abandoned. With the pallet on top, the makeshift table was complete, and Joker draped a map of Gotham over it.

Harley stood behind Joker, one hand on his shoulder while the fingers of her opposing hand slowly traced lines through Joker's green hair.

"The police stations are here," Joker commented to no one in particular, marking off several locations with a black marker.

"Don't forget the fire stations," Harley reminded. "Can't have them responding too fast when you want something to burn."

"Good thinking, Harley," Joker replied, earning a squeal of pleased delight from Harley. "How can I be expected to roast any marshmallows if they put out every building I set on fire?"

"Some people are so inconsiderate," Harley agreed, sharing a chuckle with Joker as he marked the fire stations in red.

Joker finished his map by coloring the warehouse in which they stood green on the map. While the gang gathered the necessary information to fill in the rest of the territorial information on the opposing powers fighting for control of Gotham's criminal underworld, Harley and Joker had time for a vitally important mission.

***

The old tenement building was composed of crumbling brick walls marked by broken and boarded up windows. Spiders and gang members had worked extensively to cover the decaying structure in webs and bright spray paint. Trash spilled from the overflowing alleyway between the building and its nearest neighbor. Occasionally the wind would drift past and scatter some of the papers or plastic cups only to bring them right back again when the direction of the breeze shifted. Even the wind couldn't ease the stench of old garbage from the road. The acrid taste of motor oil and diesel fumes from the roadway hung in the air like the spirit of a ghost haunting a graveyard.

Joker and Harley were about to get out of her car when she noticed the police in the lot across the street. An elevated train rumbled by, its wheels throwing off an occasional spark from the tracks, and the noise it created was enough to force Harley to gesture rather than speak as Joker wouldn't have been able to hear her. She pointed to the parking lot and the black and white car hiding among the others. She used a finger and thumb to encircle her wrists, before putting her wrists together. Joker nodded his understanding.

"Uninvited guests," Joker grumbled when the train was gone. "I do so hate party crashers, unless I'm the one doing the crashing."

"I expected those cops to be watching my place after we broke out of Arkham, but they have to respond to local emergencies. I'm going to give them one," Harley explained. Reaching into her bag, she took out an incendiary grenade. "This should do the trick."

"You know what you're looking for inside, so I'll take that," Joker spoke up as he snatched the grenade from her hand.

"Try the computer store on the corner," Harley suggested. "It's been out of business for years. No one will miss it."

"Time for some renovations," Joker snickered. Climbing out of the car, he went the long way around to avoid being seen by the police officers still sitting in their parked car. Although the doors and windows on the computer store were boarded up, enough of a gap existed for Joker to throw the grenade in between the planks after he'd pulled the pin. The front window shattered, and Joker walked briskly away in the direction he'd come from, but his precaution was unnecessary as the cops didn't even budge. The vandalizing of a closed business was hardly even worth noticing in Gotham as far worse things happened every day. However, when the grenade went off and blew out the front wall of the old store while simultaneously setting the building on fire, the cops had no choice but to take action.

Climbing out of their car, one of the officers went to check the surrounding buildings for anyone needing to be evacuated while the other gave a report into the radio and called for backup before joining in the evacuation.

With everyone occupied, Harley had her chance. Dashing across the street, she entered the lowest floor and raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Knowing she wouldn't be coming back, Harley didn't bother with the locks, simply jumping into the air and delivering a solid kick to the door. The frame around the door shattered as the wooden material gave way under the impact. The upper hinge also came loose, causing the door to fall flat with a great crash.

Harley didn't notice or care about the door as two brown shapes came bounding toward her. She opened her arms wide.

"Babies!" Harley shouted to her pet hyenas. "Come to mama!"

The two hyenas almost knocked her over in their enthusiastic greeting. Harley knew she wouldn't have long before the cops figured out they'd been distracted, so she patted the outside of her leg while heading for the stairs. The beasts followed her eagerly, nearly getting underfoot as they tried to circle her as she went down the steps to the ground floor.

Distant sirens could be heard as Harley and her pets emerged from the building. She sprinted across street and opened the back door of her car, the hyenas jumping right in. The beasts sniffed Joker in the front passenger seat until they recognized his scent and began licking him in the face.

Harley slammed the back door and cartwheeled across the trunk to reach the driver's side. Rather than floor the accelerator and attract unwanted attention, Harley reversed and pulled back far enough to turn and drive down a side street where the cops wouldn't be able to see her.

"Enjoy the view," Harley said over her shoulder as she rolled down the back windows for her hyenas to stick their noses in the breeze, their tongues hanging out happily. "Time to show you our new home."