Unsteady

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Dire diretso siya sa pagdadrive. Nag ooverspeeding si Donny. Buti na lang at wala ng laman ang kalsada.

Kung nakuhaan man siya ng speed camera ay wala siyang pakealam.

Donny is back to his adrenaline junkie and reckless self. Ang sa kanya ngayon ay kung babangga siya, talagang babangga siya.

Kaso mukang di niya pa oras. Naka uwi siya ng bahay ng ligtas at walang bangas.

Four am at muka siyang sabog. Nakatayo lang siya sa tapat ng bahay habang nakapamulsa.

Ten minutes din siyang nakatanga bago niya naisipang pumasok. Bad news pa noong makita niyang naghihintay pala ang tatay niya.

Napahilamos siya ng kamay sa mukha. Umupo siya sa sofa.

"Dad why?" Mabuti nalang at tulog pa lahat. "You said you will never push for an arrange marriage. You were so securing back then"

"Because I failed Donny. I need to save what we have"

"And you don't mind losing me in the process?"

"Think of your younger siblings. you are the eldest Donny. What is a little sacrifice? In life we all make sacrifices"

" So you sacrifice me instead?" Puno ng hinanakit ang boses niya.

"You aren't a girl Donny. You are a man. How hard is it to teach yourself to love somebody? I thought feelings are just chemicals our body produce. What happened to my logical son?"

"Dad did you taught yourself to love mum?" Nanahimik ang tatay niya.

"Dad. I am in love. Do you know that we are just starting? Not even a day but I have to break up right away because of this? And what's worst is I cannot deny you because you are my father and this is my family. I have to put you all first. I have to hurt myself and Sharlene in the process"

Malungkot na naglayo ng tingin ang tatay niya ng tingin. "I'm sorry Donny. Thank you for protecting this family"

Hindi na siya sumagot. Mugto ang mata niya at pagod siya. "I'll be in my room all day please do not disturb me"

Umakyat nga siya at nagpasyang matulog buong maghapon.

oOo

Nakatalungko si Sharlene. Hindi siya makatulog. Alam niyang may mali. Kung bakit biglaan at walang pasabi?

Totoo nga bang ginawa lang siyang past time ni Donny? She could have believe what he said if only she did not saw how the colours around him change. The tone of his voice went dark violet. The sadness is obvious despite the cold stare and lifeless voice he gave.

Masakit marinig yung mga sinabi niya pero kung nanggaling yon sa lalaking parang limang taong bata kung umiyak, she should have known better.

Something is telling her not to let him go or he will wreck himself.

Sharlene tried to pick herself up. She tried not to rely too much on her emotion.

Sinubukan niyang tawagan si Donny.
Pero hindi ito sumasagot. She decided to send a text message instead.

To Donny:

I don't know what is happening right now but I want you to know I will be here. I will always be here.

You can have all the space you need Donny. I am not appealing to you right now so you'll come back to me but instead I want you to know that I am your friend and on the day you saved me, I swore I will protect you in any way I can.

I just want you to know that I am not judging. Take a rest and sort it out. It might be hard but I know you will be able to. I don't know much about you but you are strong.

When you are tired and when you feel lost, I just want you to know you can always talk to me.

oOo

Nabasa niya ang message ni Sharlene. Dahil sa message na ito ng dalaga lalo niya lang na napatunayang he doesn't deserve her.

If there's anyone who is too good for whom...it's her. She is way too good for him but he felt comforted.

She said the words he need the most at this point without judgement. She did not even yell at him.

Sharlene is way too composed kaya naman minsan iniisip niya na baka anghel itong bumaba sa lupa para lang bantayan siya.

Little did he knew she sees him that way too.

Gustong gusto niyang pindutin ang call button pero pinigilan niya. He blocked her number at binack up ang message ni Sharlene sa cloud apps pati na rin ang existing pictures nito.

Ilang oras na lang bago iformalise ang announcement tungkol sa kanya at kay Kirsten.

Engagement ang iaannounce. Hindi man kasal pero doon na rin ang punta.

He is not the usual Donny. At this moment he does not know how to speak his mind.

He does not know the best escape route.

He does not know how to handle his emotions right.

He is unsteady.

He has to cut his connection to her or he will give in.

He knows that once he hear her voice again, he will act impulsive and he will do something that might ruin his family's business.

So he did the best possible choice. Cut the communication but keep the memories.

He might be unsteady but she keeps his pieces intact.


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