okay so here's the re-write. it's like 1000 times better.

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“Fuck!” he tripped “FUCK!” he shouted as a heel was dug into the middle of his back. The gravel dug into any exposed skin, tearing at the black shirt he was wearing. His hands were bleeding from trying to push himself off the ground. The heel presses harder into his back, shoving him into the ground. “Please! I’m good for the money! I swear! I can get it to you tomorrow! Oh GOd! PLeASE!” his voice cracked, his eyes welling with tears he knew full well he couldn’t get the money to them, but it would give him the chance to say goodbye to his daughter and wife at home. His back popped violently as their foot was pushed harder into his spine. A cry escaping from the back of his throat. “Please! Give me just one more day! I can get you the money! I swear!” He cried, choking on a sob. The foot was lifted from his back, and he started to push himself up. “Thank you! oh god thank-” his gratitude was suddenly cut off by a snap, the foot having slammed back onto his back, and severing his spine into two.  The lights in his eyes dimmed and he fell limp on the gravel, blood pooling from his mouth and nose. Unbeknownst to them, a short turquoise eyed boy watched from behind a tree; eyes widening at the gruesome scene laid before him. He held his hand over his mouth to muffle a gasp, stumbling over his feet in order to get away before he was spotted. He stumbled, tripping over a stray branch, it’s snap echoed through the forest.

The night air was brisk as David made his way through the thicket, limp body pulled over his shoulder. He tugged his overcoat a bit tighter as he waltzed his way through the trees, weaving to avoid branches. David pulled the collar of his coat up to his ears and tucked his hat to hide his eyes from anyone watching nearby. He knew better than to repeat the mistake from a few years back when one of the camper's parents found out who he was and subsequently tried to blackmail him. Let's just say that he was much more stone-hearted back then, not that he isn’t now, and that kid wouldn’t be hearing from his parents anytime soon. David grimaced at the old memory. ‘I could never hurt one of my campers like that now. I’ve changed, haven’t I?’ the man shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He reminisced about when Gwen first joined as a counselor, and how she thought him as suspicious, but after working with each other for a while she brushed it off as ignorant optimism. David was ripped out of the memory when a deafening snap rang through the near-silent forest. He spun around in search of the source of the sound, the body slung over his shoulder momentarily forgotten as it’s head thunked against his back, temporarily knocking him off balance as his emerald eyes searched the surrounding forest. He regained his footing as he looked for the source of the sudden sound. ‘What if someone was following him?” the idea sliced through his empty thoughts and he stood still, shocked. How could he not have noticed someone following him this whole time?

Max whimpered, clasping his hand over his dry mouth as he desperately tried to sneak away quietly. His eyes welled with tears as he scoured for a hiding place. He tripped over a twig, the snap was deafening and Max burst into tears as he fumbled to stand. He scraped his hands against the rough forest floor. He sprinted through the brush, the branches ripping his nightshirt as he shielded his face with his arms. He briefly glanced back his eyes locking with familiar forest green ones. He tripped again. He didn’t even have the chance to stand when a calloused, bloodsoaked hand lifted him from the collar of his pajamas. He let out a strangled cry and covered his face with his bleeding hands.

“P-please- I-I didn’t see anything,” He choked on a sob, hot tears running down his flushed face. “Please-” He hiccuped “Don’t hurt me- please I won’t tell anyone- Please”

He wiped his tear-soaked face with the torn sleeves of his shirt as he was moved to face the perpetrator. The majority of their face was covered by what looked like a bandanna, it was tucked into his trenchcoat. A matching hat was placed on his head, but it barely covered his flame-red hair and piercing green eyes.

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