Eumoirous

01: Memories: Nostalgia

I thought I had wiped out clean of you. Of all the moments that gave me days and days of happiness washing away all my problems. See the problem was that I thought I had. Turns out I didn't.
I got up, shaking my head free from the thoughts. The sunlight gave way through the window, putting on some music I walked to the closet rummaging through my shirts. I pulled out a hoodie that I had stashed away months ago back in February. I closed my eyes and inhaled the smell.

It was late July as we were on the Point Street bridge, gazing out into the sparkling ocean at the sunset. Your hands locked in mine, a whiff of ocean air breezes past us creating an atmosphere that makes me want to live in the moment forever. It was slightly cold that day and we were just at the beach earlier, and you had given me this hoodie to wear. I never gave it back because I loved the smell of you. I still do.

Throwing the hoodie onto my bed, I quickly blinked back tears wishing I hadn't thought of it. Even just the smell breaks my heart into pieces over and over again. I had abandoned everything that reminded me of you. I moved it all into the basement where I go to once every year to clean out my spring items. I guess I forgotten this hoodie. I sighed and palm my hands on my forehead and focused on breathing in and out. Tears streamed down my face and before I knew it I was sobbing hysterically again.

We went over this, I thought. I promised myself to never cry about him ever again for breaking my stupid heart.

"Hah..this is so dumb." I said out loud. "Who would've thought."

I sniffed and got up to blow my nose. Looking at myself in the mirror, I thought to myself.

Okay, you can do this, get this day over with and cry later if you must. Do not ever start the day with bawling your eyes out. You're better than this.

I put on some clothes, grabbed my bag and headed out the front door. Locking the door behind me, I gazed into the neighborhood and took big breath.

"I can do this."