Heaven's Chosen

Part Eight

When Cas finally stirred awake the next morning, Dean had barely read a page. His head had been too full of worries and doubts.

   Cas looked over at Dean with a pleasant smile, and Dean felt his heart do backflips. Pushing it down, he smiled back.

   "Mornin' Cas," he said, his voice gravelly from not using it all night.

   "Hey, Dean," Cas said, sitting up. "Today is a great day." Despite saying it, Cas didn't seem to believe it.

   "Why is that?" Dean inquired, suddenly nervous.

   "I'm going to ask out Charlie today," he said, smiling. Something seemed off with him, but Dean thought it must be nerves.

   He heard himself saying something like, "that's great!" while he felt like he had been punched and his head was ringing. Why was he so upset? This was good for him. He'd be safer this way.

   Cas was talking on, but Dean didn't hear a word he said. Dean jumped as Cas set a hand on his leg.

   "Dean, are you alright? You're crying," Cas whispered.

   "Yeah, I'm fine," Dean said, wiping his face. "Something came on the angel communication, and sometimes my body reacts weirdly to the frequency. It's happened before," Dean lied. Neither of those things were true at all.

   Cas nodded dubiously and stood, stretching. Walking over to his closet, he picked out a green top and black jeans.

   "Charlie loves green," he explained, not looking Dean in the eyes. Dean wasn't sure why.

   Dean couldn't bring himself to get up from the chair while Cas bounced around getting ready. He felt so drained. It wasn't Cas's fault, though. Even if he had known, he was doing what was best. This could help Dean get back into his rhythm and work properly.

   So why didn't it hurt any less?

   Cas was finally ready, and he bounced down the stairs, walking into the kitchen with more composure. He didn't even attempt to cook, just grabbing some milk and cereal. His hands were shaking, for some reason.

   "Nervous?" Dean asked, trying to sound cheerful. Cas almost spilled his milk, and Dean jumped.

   "Yeah, a little. She's just so... her, you know? And I really like her," he said. Dean nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. But in a different light.

   "You'll get it. If she feels the same about you, it'll go fine, and I'm almost sure she does," he said trying desperately to sound optimistic and not heartbroken. Cas seemed to buy it.

   "Yeah. You're right. Thanks, Dean," he said, starting in on his cereal. Cas picked up his phone, and Dean took a shaky breath. This was in both of their best interests. He knew it was. And yet, that didn't change a thing.

   "She'll be here in ten minutes," Cas said, nerves running through his voice. Dean shot him the most supportive smile he could muster, and Cas shot a nervous one back. Dean ran a hand through his hair, wishing that he could go disappear and think. But he had a job to do.

   Which meant he'd have to watch Cas rip his heart out without Cas even knowing.

   There was a knock at the door, and Cas stood to answer it. Dean closed his eyes, mentally steeling himself to show little reaction and not alert Cas, and then stood as well, following Cas into his entryway.

   Cas had already opened the door and was greeting Charlie, smiling. Dean leaned against the back wall, trying to keep his expression as neutral and supportive as he could. Cas glanced over as he took her coat, and Dean nodded. He shot him a grateful smile, and it killed Dean inside.

   He lead Charlie to the living room, and they sat down and started talking, just like the last time. Dean settled into the desk again, his back against the wall as he watched them talk. They fit so well together. Cas deserved this for himself. Not Dean, who was just getting feelings. Not Dean, who might get him in trouble or killed.

   This was what was best for Cas.

   After about half an hour, Cas went for it. Nervously, he glanced to Charlie.

   "Hey, Charlie. I was wondering... would you want to go out with me? Like, on a date?" He stuttered nervously, glancing at Dean, who gave him a thumbs up as he took a deep breath and tried to hold back tears.

   "Yes, Cas! Yes, I'm so down," she said, smiling. She was being awkward, too. Maybe they really were meant for each other.

   They ended up playing games again, both deciding drinking was a bad idea this time around. Thankfully, they weren't looking at Dean at all, because he was hanging back on the desk, silent tears on his face. He was determined to stop them. But that hadn't happened yet. They went to the kitchen for snacks, and Dean couldn't bring himself to move. They'd be fine. And he'd sense it if they weren't.

   They came back unharmed, and he still didn't move. At nearly five in the evening, Charlie decided it was time to head home. Cas saw her to the door and kissed her on the cheek, letting her out and closing it behind her. To Dean's great relief, he'd gotten the tears under control.

   Cas turned and flashed a bright smile to Dean.

   "I think that went very well," he said. Dean nodded and smiled, and Cas went to get his laptop for work. For the rest of the evening, Dean sat on the desk, wishing he could turn his new human emotions off, and Cas sat in his chair, doing his work and remaining oblivious to Dean's struggles.

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bUt cHaRlIe iS a lEsBiAn-  I KNOOOW. I know that, don't say it. Shut up and read, clown, you'll see why soon enough. That's all I can say without spoiling it so suck it up buttercup.