Step Brothers

Ch. 9

Jace's POV

"Get away from me, fag."

"I'm not a fag."

He scoffed, "Sure you aren't."

Why is he being like this? He isn't homophobic. So why is he being mean to me?

I groaned quietly as I woke up in the middle of the night from a stupid bad dream. Again. For the fifth time in the past two weeks. Ever since I admitted to myself that I like Alec, I keep having these weird-ass dreams where he kind of makes fun of me for being gay. But it's not even that bad, it's just him calling me a fag and other lame insults. It's so stupid and I wish it'd stop.

I rolled over on my side hoping I'd be able to fall back asleep and not have any more dreams. But the universe had a different plan for me. My eyes were closed because I was trying to fall back asleep again but I felt Alec repositioning. And I didn't know how he was laying until I felt a presence right in front of my face. I tried to stay calm and act like I was asleep but it was so hard.

"Why do you have to be so handsome, Jace," he whispered.

I willed my face not to turn red but at least it's dark.

He continued on, probably thinking I'm asleep so I can't hear any of this, "I'm not gay. I'm not bi. But I can't ignore the attraction I feel towards you. I hope you feel the same way but we've disliked each other for so long, I'm not sure that's possible."

He sighed and I felt him moving so I thought he was going to sleep finally. But then something happened. I felt small breaths against my lips for a few seconds and then a soft pressure. I couldn't take it anymore. I opened my eyes but his eyes were closed and... he was kissing me. I tried my hardest not to smile and I quickly remembered every detail of what just happened and then I closed my eyes again. Right on time, too, because a second later he pulled back.

He ran his hand through my hair lightly, "I wish I could do that when you're awake."

I really wanted to open my eyes and say, 'You just did, idiot, now do it again!' But I was frozen. Absolutely frozen.

He moved again and I felt his forehead against mine, "Good night, Jace."

I mentally sighed. Why am I such a wimp?

**

All fucking day... I've been so distracted. I bombed my science quiz, completely missed the lesson in math, and I have no idea how World War Two started. I keep bringing my hands to my lips and gazing off into the distance dreamily. I need to stop because soon my friends will realize something is up. I really want him to fucking kiss me again. I can't get it out of my head! I know that wasn't a dream. And I know that because we woke up cuddling really close again this morning, our lips practically touching on their own. And Alec has been acting weird around me lately. Ugh.

Suddenly I got a text.

D- Okay, what is up with you?

J- Huh?

D- Don't play dumb

J- No, I really don't know what you're talking about

D- You've been distracted and dreamy all day. What happened?

My face went red, both at the memory and how obvious I'm being.

J- Nothing... important

D- Lmao, I find that hard to believe

J- Fine... just don't tell the girls. Please?

D- Okay but it's your funeral if they find out you told me first

J- Whatever

D- Okay, so spill

J- Alec... kissed me last night

D- Really?

J- Yeah but he thinks that I was asleep so he doesn't know that I know

D- Damn. So he just walked into your room, kissed you, and left?

J- Not exactly...

D- Well what happened?

J- There's a lot about my new living situation that I haven't told you guys haha...

D- Get to the point, bro

J- So for a while now, my room has kind of been out of order. When the really bad storms rolled through, apparently a tree got hit into the house so there's a huge-ass hole in my wall above my bed with a tree in it. We haven't gotten any goddamn workers in to fix it so I haven't been staying in my room.

D- You've been sleeping on the couch for this long?

J- No, my mom and Paul would never let me do that

D- So?

J- *awkward smile* I've been staying in Alec's room... with only one bed...

D- Wow.

J- Yeah

D- Did he say anything before or after he kissed you?

J- He said he's not gay or bi but he can't deny his feelings for me. Then he kissed me. And said he wishes that he could do that when I'm awake but he's scared I don't like him back. Then he said goodnight and went to sleep

D- Why didn't you say anything?

J- I was frozen in shock!!! I really wanted to but neither my brain or body were functioning

D- Damn. Well, I understand why you're all distracted. That happened last night?

J- Yeah

D- Wow.

D- I'm gonna give you my advice, even though I know you're gonna say I'm insane. I think you should talk to him. Tell him you were awake and you do feel the same way. It sounds scary but after you'll both be happy and together

J- It's more complicated than that though

D- How?

J- We're brothers

D- STEP brothers. You aren't related by blood and your parents haven't been married that long. It's not like you've been stepbrothers since you were little kids

J- I guess...

D- Think about it, but don't worry too much. It'll be okay

J- Thanks, dude

D- No problem, it's what friends are for

**

When I got into the room that night, Alec was already laying down in the dark.

"Alec?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

He nodded, "Tired."

I just nodded back and laid down on the other side of the bed. But I didn't try to fall asleep. I had some things to think about. Like what Dallas said. I know it'd be so much better if I just man up and tell Alec how I feel but it's fucking scary. Not only would the relationship be a guy with a guy, which in this day and age isn't that big of a deal, but we're step-brothers. Some people may think of that as oh well you aren't related by blood, just by marriage, but others won't have any of that and say we're real brothers so it's wrong. And... shit. I'm worrying too much. Doing exactly what Dallas told me not to do. Fun.

After a few more minutes of contemplating life, I decided what I'd do.

Alec was lying facing away from me on his side, so I laid on my side too except facing him and I slowly scooted closer to him. After one more pep talk, I laid right behind him and put my arm around his waist, snuggling my face into the back of his neck. I couldn't help but smile at the amazing feeling of having Alec in my arms.

I fell asleep fast and peacefully.