YIKES ーchanglix

̷6̷4̷

[Seo Changbin]

Direct Messages | @honey.lix
Today, 1:46 am

honey.lix
> don't listen to them
> please
> I'll explain to them that you've done nothing
> just don't listen to them

its.seodark
why not? you deserve someone you'll be able
to sincerely love, someone who can give
you just as much <

honey.lix
> I do sincerely love you

its.seodark
I know|

The more we talk, the more I'm convinced you love someone who doesn't exist <
Seobin isn't real, Felix <

honey.lix
> why are we back at this..?
> I don't call you Seobin anymore
> please

its.seodark
I don't blame you <
It's my own fault for lying to you <

honey.lix
> We all lie at some point
> But what are you talking about..?

its.seodark
I lied about whatever I wanted whenever i wanted <
And that wasn't me <
Because you don't know me, Felix <
I'm not Seobin, I'm not 19, I don't live
in Incheon <

honey.lix
> see I don't mind getting to know you all over again

its.seodark
But after all that's happened, I don't want you to know my name or my face <
How would you react..? Haha <

I want to watch you be happy from afar <
Like I was supposed to <
Yet I had to fuck up by getting closer <

It was a fucking mistake <
To hide behind whoever the fuck Seobin is, and intrude into your life <
I'm so awfully sorry about it all <
You, an adorable little SpearB fan who was happy and stable, didn't deserve this mess <

sorry won't even fix this <
Your friends were right, you deserve better <
That's why I'm going to free you from me <

It was nice knowing you, baby <

honey.lix
> what

> Don't sound like you're leaving forever
> You'll be back right?

its.seodark
Why should I be back? I lost <
Forget Seobin, forget it all and live your life <
Someday you'll meet someone better <

Please take care, okay? I honestly enjoyed talking to you, and truly treasure you Felix <
I didn't think you'd mean this much to me when I first texted you <

honey.lix
> What are you saying
> please don't do this

its.seodark
I have to leave, Lix <
If I want you to be safe and happy <

honey.lix
> No

its.seodark
It's for the best <
And I should've done this long ago <

Heck, no, I shouldn't have even clicked on
your profile <
I'm sorry baby <

Maybe someday, we can start again <

I know it's selfish but I just can't watch myself be the cause of your suffering anymore <
I can't watch myself break you <
I don't want to be the reason for your
pain anymore <

Sleep well, my sunflower. <
I really wanted to make this work. <
Seen

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•

"Hyung, are you crying?"

Jisung's voice was hushed, a concerned whisper laced with sleepiness as he heard soft sniffles from the boy behind him.

Changbin did not respond. Now that his phone light wasn't illuminating the room, it was pitch black, his eyes open and staring into nothing. He felt the younger snuggled in his arms shift.

"Hyung, I know you're crying."

Changbin shut his eyes. The persistent tingling in his nose only resulted in more tears, but he didn't care. He drowned out Jisung's voice, just like he did the aching in his heart.

As he awaited to be consumed by sleep, Changbin's pained heart hoped the one boy he treasured would learn to live without him.