Changing Bed Sheets (Black Butler) *Finnian/OC*

04. Depression

Though Andie had already been dreading having to work on her own, she hadn't quite imagined the toll it would take. Being surrounded by nothing but the dark atmosphere of the manor was beginning to have an increasingly negative effect on her.

The little progress she seemed to have made in coming out of her shell had completely disappeared and she now spoke up even less. Finnian and Mey-Rin in particular attempted to encourage her to socialise and talk to people, but if anything she just withdrew even more.

With the cold memories of the manor seeping into her she fell into a state of constant depression. When she was around any of the others she was constantly on edge and jumped at small noises. She felt like she'd gone back beyond even square one. She was sure that she'd never felt quite so unhappy before.

Her appetite completely disappeared and she felt like she was constantly ill and shivery, as if she had permanent flu that she could never shake off. Working at the manor hadn't been quite so bad to start off with, but now that she had to work alone with nobody else beside her - forced to endure the gloomy echoes of the manor by herself - it was bordering on unbearable.

She was now sure that she'd made a huge mistake in ever coming here. Because surely everything she'd had to deal with back home had been better than feeling... nothing.

It was Monday. The start of a new week. Meaning that it was the day when all of the bed linen needed to be changed over, which was what Andie had spent a good part of her morning doing. Phantomhive Manor had a lot of beds - most of which were generally unused, residing in the many elaborate guest rooms. Even so, they still had to be changed as well. Things that weren't used gathered dust... And dust was unacceptable under Sebastian's rule.

Once she'd gone through all of the guest rooms - Ciel's wing of the manor being the first she had to attend - she headed back down towards the servant's quarters. Their beds had to be changed too, but the servant's quarters always had to be left until last. The rest of the manor was more important.

She was grateful that the quarters were empty at this time of morning. Everybody else had gone off to carry out their own jobs, so she knew that she could happily get to work with the reassurance that there would be no interruptions.

Though she disliked having to work in some of the manor's more sensitive rooms by herself, the servant's quarters had no lingering emotions behind them. They felt safe to be in on her own. They didn't feel hostile or depressing like a lot of the manor's rooms did.

And of course Andie preferred to be alone where she could - when she knew she wouldn't be harassed by the ghosts of feelings long gone by. Being completely alone was generally more inside her comfort zone.

She was grateful that the beds in the servant's quarters were small - much easier to change than master Ciel's giant four-poster bed, as well as the queen-sizes that were in most of the guest rooms. Her back already ached from trying to manoeuvre around such big mattresses and all of the effort was starting to make her light-headed. This was definitely a job done better with two people.

But she'd made her bed and now she had to lie in it. She'd flown her post once so she had to deal with the consequences. Sebastian had made it clear that his rules were to be followed absolutely... Having to work alone was her just punishment for her moment of weakness. She'd accepted that.

Unfortunately, her body didn't agree. By the time she'd finished changing the sheets on all of the servants' beds she was sweating, she felt nauseous and her back now hurt even more, as well as her stomach. She sank down to sit on the ground at the foot of her bed - preferring the cool solidness of the hard stone floor to the squashy and uneven hay mattress.