SOPE | Letters to my love

00

dear hoseokie,

you probably want to know what happened.

i know im writing this two years after but my parents want me to.  they're scared i'll try to do what you had the courage to do.

i'm the one who found you, no surprise since i have the spare key. 

when i got here you were just unconscious so i called paramedics but i knew they wouldn't get there fast enough so i took the rest of the pills and laid down in your arms.

i hope you know i was kissing you. 

fuck this is hard to write.

i just wanted to be with you hobi, but you had the courage to leave me and i can't do the same.

you're an asshole, you know?

i'm living in your room.  funny thing, i'm wearing your hoodies every where and they still smell like you.  only some though cause i cuddled the fuck out of the other ones.

i still cry myself to sleep knowing i can't see you when i wake up.

i never even got to confess.

i want to be with you again but if i fail again i'd be sent to the hospital and i wouldn't be able to visit you anymore.

did you see the sunflower i planted?  i hope you like it. 

why couldn't you try just a little longer?  i was going to confess to you that day.

i'm sorry i wasn't straightforward enough with my plan... maybe if i told tae or gguk to not be so blunt with you.  i wanted to surprise you. 

if it was me i guess my surprise lead you to it. 

i didn't mean for them to come out cold but i wanted them to be chill.  i was going to surprise you at your house... i was going to confess to you in the best way possible.

but the house was quiet. 

i love you.  i love you so much.  words can't express how much i love you, i can probably never love anyone the same way again.

well this is getting too long so i'll go.

love,
     your kitten; yoongi