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It was lonely. Very, very lonely. Thinking about all the terrible things that could happen, I can't control them whether bad things will come or not. I'm so worried. It was night, looking up at the stars, wishing all my mistakes could never exist in the first place. I wished so hard, I felt warm tears flow back down to my cheeks, seeing the moon shine bright, so obvious as the whole sky was dark, but beautiful. The wind flowing through my hair, as it calmly touches my neck, like sense of comfort. It felt nice.
But I still felt guilty. I feel, trapped, alone and so very confused. To processing that it happened. But all I can do now, is just, breathe and except the fact it happened, even if I couldn't believe it. Now it was lonelier than ever. But since I am sure, of what is happening, I can make the best of it. Until a new chapter comes forward into my life. Maybe something good or bad, I'll make the best of it. I'll try
Right now, I can breathe. I can feel all the memories I had with you, replay them over and over again, as if it was on a vhs tape. It was all dark though, as if those memories never existed. But I'm glad they did, even though I may have lost you, maybe for a short while. But I can't stay inside myself forever, there is so much beauty here, the place of isolation can be so beautiful, can be filled with tranquility, and my mind can feel at rest. But I need to start new again, the times I will always miss made me realize how much it was worth than all the bad memories combined. Those ones hit me the hardest.
But now, I can start new. Even though I wish you were here still part of my world, well you still are, but you are on the day side, while I'm on the night side.
It will be fun, maybe it won't. But it also depends on how I make it. I know I'll make it best, just like i did before. Losing someone can hurt so much that you start to lose yourself in the process. But that's the last thing I can't word to lose. But since we are no longer in the past. I am in my future and you are in yours. All I can say is is that.
" It was nice knowing you"
But I can't be alone forever, even though right now you make me feel lonely. I won't let that be the last thing I'll remember you by.
