Columbidae SFSD #4 Round IV

Bear

Newly promoted Commander Knobber left the spire of Tower HQ and descended the fifty floors downwards in the elevator running through the core of the building, before alighting at Sub-Dock Zero Five to inspect his new charge; The Columbidae.

He let out an involuntary moan of approval as he eyed up the ship.  Every inch was perfect, from her aerodynamic yet blocky nose, upward tilting wings housing three oxygen generating backup engines and mounted with four plasma cannons each - two on top and two below - and her exhausts... Oh, her exhausts...

“Hey baby,” said newly promoted Commander Knobber as he ran his fingers down the Columbidae’s smooth body, “How about you let me take you for a spin?” he winked suggestively, still in awe.  “I've got the keys to the gates of paradise...” he sighed, “but I've got too many legs...  Ain’t that a headfuck.”

More than anything at that moment, Knobber wanted a beer to take his mind out of the gutter and off of the sexy body of his new craft, but he was meant to be in the AAA.  Given his newly promoted status, being seen falling from the wagon would be a decidedly poor idea so he gave in to desire and began roughly humping the Columbidae’s primary exhaust pipe.

“Oi!” Yelled a voice from inside the ship, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to my damn bird?”

Commander Knobber froze mid thrust before guiltily peering around his charges rear end to see a pair of knee-high booted and leather clad legs - shapely legs at that - descending from the now open cargo hangar.  Said legs were topped off rather nicely with an even more shapely-in-all-the-right-places white vest top and a swathe of purple hair in a ponytail atop her head.

She was frowning, which was quite an achievement when taking into consideration that she only had one singular eye.

Not a single eye as in she once had two and lost the other and not a cyclops eye in the middle of her forehead, just an eye positioned above her nose in between where her eyes would have been if she had possessed a pair of them.  

“Your bird?” Knobber Asked, “Oh eye? I mean oh aye?”

She continued to glare. “Congratulations, aren't you an observant one.” She remarked sarcastically, “Yes I have one eye and no, it is not open for discussion. Why are you humping my ship?”

“Mumblemumble... beer,” mumbled Knobber quietly.

“Ah.” She nodded, “Android Alcoholics Anonymous. Not going well eh? You don't look like any android I've ever seen, that’s for sure,” she said as she looked at the mechanical muscular shoulder and torso which were just visible at the arse end of the ship.

“I opted out of the skin,” Knobber said with a shrug.  “Anyway, I'm Commander Knobber of the Columbidae - as in this baby - so why the hell are you in it?”

“I’m your assigned crew,”

“What? All of it?”

“Yup,” the one eyed woman grinned, “Weapons expert, engineer, mechanic, co-pilot... I make a mean homebrew too.”

“Botometrist? Andromanist? Roboteopathy?” countered Knobber, not one to be outdone and purposefully ignoring the remark about beer.

“Studying for ‘em.”

Knobber opened his mechanoid maw to shoot the girl a cutting remark, but he was interrupted by a burst of static from the chunky comms band on her wrist.

“All personnel of the Columbidae, please report to floor fifty-point-zero-niner.  Immediately.  That means you, newly promoted Commander Knobber.”