Columbidae SFSD #4 Round IV

Bear Mk II

The Columbidae soon became a hive of activity; at least it would have been, if it was possible for a hive to consist of a robot, a one eyed girl and a lad with horrifically obnoxious ginger hair.

As the ship made its cautious approach towards the potentially lethal planet, Knobber kept both hands on the controls, in addition to another dextrous appendage which shall remain unmentioned... although you can probably guess that he was employing the use of the third arm concealed within his chest cavity.

I mean, really, did you actually think he was flying a spaceship with his... err... nevermind.

On a different topic however, Dick was enjoying the close quarters he occupied with Titty as she gave him an in depth introduction on Plasma Cannon 101.

“There’s no way we can use the automated system for this, it’s impossible.  The time fields might be corporeal, but they’re still time.  There’s no weapon in the multiverse that can single out time as a target.” She shook purple waves of hair around her head as she sighed in exasperation.  Dick thought she smelled a little like bubblegum, though he’d never say it out loud.  He really, really liked bubblegum.

“Wha?” He managed to vocalise in the aftermath of his sensory orgasm.

“Point and shoot, fucktard,” Titty pursed her pouty lips at him in frustration, “point and shoot.  The big red button goes ‘Kapow!’, got it?”

“Okay,” Dick nodded, not having listened to a word she’d said, in his experience of women however, it was usually in his best interests to nod and say ‘you’re quite right, I understand completely’.

“You’re quite right,”  Dick nodded, “I understand completely.”

“Excellent,” beamed Titty, “I’ll leave you to it then.”

“...” said Dick, as before he could ask which button he was meant to press, he was on his own facing almost possible certain death.  That, or becoming his own great grandfather - or grandson.  This time shit was confusing.

“Thrusters at full power,” Knobber yelled from the console, “get ready to fire, we’re goin’ in,” he narrowed his eyes and focussed on the nearest time vortex, aiming slightly to the right and swinging the Columbidae so its wings were vertical, “man the top cannons, obtaining optimum velocity and... on my count, three... two... one... fi--”

Kapow! The ship rocked with the blast of simultaneous cannon fire from each wing, Titty hitting her target with ease whilst Dick’s stream of plasma went awry, arcing around the first vortex and making contact with another, slightly behind and off to the left.  Knobber changed course immediately, swinging the Columbidae around and heading for the gap as the cannons fired over and over.

The time fields dissipated as the ship and its crew broke atmosphere, violent purple giving way to the more socially acceptable dull orangey-brown which is, as everyone knows, the colour of the surface of the planet Mars.  

As the Columbidae descended, its trio of landing probes extended, giant shock absorbers taking the force of the impact as it touched down upon the planet's surface, plumes of dust rendering it virtually invisible.

Knobber, Titty and Dick all stood by the airlock, tapping their feet and huffing with exasperation as they waited for pressure equalisation.  The green light pinged on as Knobber slapped his forehead with a resounding clanging sound.

“Oh buggeration, we forgot the space-suits.”

More time was wasted as the trio suited up, though at this point having destroyed so much of it, time was somewhat immaterial.  Eventually they managed to pull their shit together enough to be able to exit the craft mounted upon recommissioned moon buggy’s from the now defunct economy space program.