Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey

1

August 18, 2001

I miss my friends

I miss walking down the streets at night

I miss feeling free....

Everything here is the same.

I can't tell most of the girls apart

As soon as I walked through those cold hard metal gates

I knew I was trapped.

"Um, Eliza.. a bet? That's your name right?" A short blonde girl walks into my dorm. My roomate.This is the 4th time she asked this week.

"Yup" I stuff my journal under my pillow and sit up. " S'up?"

" Well since it's the last day of freedom befroe school starts, me and a couple of other girls were going to go to a party thrown by the fraternity around the block." She gave a wink at me.

I felt the temptation run through me but in reply I quickly say no.

I haven't had a drink or a hit in a month...

I never thought I would come this far. I couldn't loose myself now.

"Ohhhkay. Guess I will see you tommorow. If i'm not back by 5, calls the cops!" She quickly yells out as she exits.

The silence returns.

So do my never ending thoughts.

This is only my third day here and I am already done.

I know my parents shipped me off to get 'help' but still...

I never felt so alone.

I needed to get out.

I get up, let my brown soft hair fall against my face. A stroke of black mascara and a swipe of red lipstick, I was ready to go.