"
Michael breathed heavily as the plane lifted off the ground. He was so used to flying from place to place on a plane, but something about it still made him uneasy and left his stomach churning with anxiety. He closed his eyes as he counted softly under his breath, until after a while he finally began to feel comfortable.
He stared out the window beside him, feeling melancholy stirring the pit of his stomach. He couldn't believe all that had happened in the span of less than a month. The memories of the ghost of her kiss on his skin, the memories of the nights he would spend dancing until his feet felt like they would fall off, the memories of feeling free for the first time in a long while haunted him, and he knew they would haunt him forever.
He had never loved a woman like this that wasn't Diana. He never thought he could. Diana brought sunshine to his life, sunshine that he thought would be untouched till his last dying breaths. That was until Nyika came into his life. She taught him things about himself that he could've never figured out on his own. She brought a sense of joy and laughter to his bleak and stressful life. And unlike Diana, Nyika didn't willingly play with his heart.
If only he had known. Maybe he wouldn't have come on this trip at all, maybe he would've stayed home and wrapped himself up in bed until he slept himself to death.
He missed her already. He felt his throat tie up in tight knots, his eyes began to water just thinking about the few weeks that had impacted his life more than he could begin to imagine. Nothing had changed. Yet, nothing would ever be the same. The tears threatened to spill, but he kept strong. He needed to hold it in, he couldn't cry with his father near.
Her sweeter than honey laugh, her gorgeous brown skin that illuminated brightly in the sunlight, the glimmer of her bright white smile. They taunted him as he watched the island grow further and further away from his vision.
It was all over.
He got up quickly once the signal flashed overhead that they didn't need their seatbelts anymore. He rushed to the bathroom, nearly tripping down the aisle. His brothers all sent concerning looks in his direction.
He made sure he looked the door, and once he was seated on the toilet seat... he broke down in tears. Everything was hitting him like a wrecking ball, he felt like a punching bag, everything beating him down all at once.
He wished he had stayed, he wished that things at turned out differently. That he hadn't left her the way he did, that he could still feel her breath on his shoulder.
Anger rose up in his stomach, he began hitting the wall, softly at first. He didn't want to cause any damage, all he wanted to do was try to make all the hurt go away.
The soft hits turned into wall denting punches, he didn't even know he had so much strength.
He cried.
Lord he cried.
Yet no matter how hard the tears fell, and no matter how much it hurt. Nothing could bring back everything he lost..
Nothing.
And he knew.. deep down.. that all of it.. everything, was his fault.
"
