The Embrace

"Aaaand..." I say with a bit of strain in my voice, "that's... the last... one!" I heave a sigh after having successfully moved the last box from my college dorm to my Toyota Camry's trunk. 

"Thanks again for all your help!" I express graciously. 

She shuts the trunk with a loud SLAM which forces everything inside it to remain locked up safely until I return home and causes the whole car to shake visibly with the force of her swing. 

Then, she faces me and replies coolly,"Yeah, sure." 

She ends her statement with a soft smile, the one she's usually wearing whenever we're hanging out together.

The weather is lovely for a mid-morning in mid-May; it's partly-sunny but not blistering; there's a refreshing sort of breeze but not blustery.

I have on my beat-up sneakers, my favorite pair of black leggings, a comfy tee, and my trademark hairstyle—the ponytail—in order to prepare myself physically for the long, 8-hour drive I have ahead of me. 

She's comfortable in her sneakers, long pants, and her university jacket that's slightly open, so it reveals her t-shirt underneath. Half of her wild, curly mop of hair is tied up, but a few individual curls are too short to reach and frame either side of her face just so...

As I space out, I remember back to when we didn't know each other, at the beginning of this year. 

Our first memory together, making that hilariously stupid in-class project, but having the time of our lives in the process. 

*****

"I met these rly nice girls in math class tho who gave me a rly good laugh--one of the best I've had in a lil while :)" (Aug 21, 2019).

Somehow we managed to get so much closer in such a short amount of time.

"I had her over today & we completed our math hw which was rly good" (Sept 2, 2019).

*****

By finals of our first semester, we'd had our regular study sessions every week for at least a month and a half or two in total.

*****

"Study session w her was fun today cause we hung ot before and after our session [omg lol probably our first time getting dinner together before studying haha] (almost saw a movie together but it's whatever lolol" (Oct 8, 2019).

"Study session with her :) that was chill, per usual... oh lol I spilt hot tea all over my hand and I burnt my tongue to a crisp at dinner w her before studying lol" (Oct 15, 2019).

"Ate w her after math class cause we got out a lil early per usual" (Oct 16, 2019).

"Math study session was pretty fun, she and I met up with a couple other friends at the caf while we ate our rewards for productive studying tehe" (Nov 12, 2019).

"Had a nice study session w her (tho I took forever to do like one thing... I felt bad for taking so long)" (Nov 19, 2019).

"Today was terribly unproductive but the best and most memorable part had to be 'studying' w her in the library... we fucked around so much I'm p  sure the ppl around us thought we were on something XD we listened to animal noises from google, played Pac Man, played solitaire, took BuzzFeed quizzes, looked at LGBTQ movies, reviewed some 6dollar tee shirts (including the poop shirt--'I pooped today'--lol)... we had a hell of a time dude we were there until like 10:30-10:45pm (5 frickin hrs!) even tho my phone was malfunctioning, I still had hella fun" (Dec 3, 2019).

"Lately I've just been getting weird vibes and I just feel like I don't belong w [my suite-mates] Rn I'm about to study w her for our math exam so hopefully that should be chill" (Dec 10, 2019).

*****

When second semester rolled around, it felt like we had become good friends; we talked all of break so as not to lose touch with each other (and because she really wanted pictures of my cats, as she is a cat lover herself haha).

*****

"Then I went to the caf for breakfast and saw her so I hung out w her til she had to leave for class" (Jan 21, 2020).

*****

Coming back to university after break and seeing her felt different, somehow--like we had ignored the concepts of time and distance and had managed to become even closer without ever actually seeing each other face-to-face.

If I can remember correctly, my heart skipped a half of a beat when I saw her sitting there in the cafeteria that morning, like I was reuniting with an old friend whom I hadn't seen in months. I was so excited to see a friendly, familiar face on such an anxious and somewhat lonely day—before class started for the new semester, and I was still a little weird with my suite-mates. 

Looking back on that day will eventually bring me to realize that something had happened to the both of us that I probably never would have imagined before: we were amidst the beginnings of a solid and close friendship.

I remember all the crazy nights we spent together at the library second semester, keeping up with our weekly study sessions throughout. At one point, we even extended our study time to include Thursday nights as well, so we might get some work done before the weekend.

Over the course of the semester, I met many of her suite-mates, including one of her closest and probably best friends on campus. Before we even knew it, we became an inseparable trio: The Three Musketeers.

But this. Here. Now.

My face falls somewhat as I realize exactly what this present moment means, I just don't want to admit it to myself quite yet; her face relaxes to a somewhat-annoyed look to tell me she knows exactly what I'm thinking.

"Hey, come on; just like I've told you a hundreds of times before: it's only a few months—we'll see each other again soon enough. I told you I would come and visit you."

This gets me a little teary-eyed, but none fall. My chest feels like it's collapsing in on itself, though, from all the heavy heartache and wanting to cry but not being able to.

I decide to open my arms a little bit to ask for a hug goodbye, with only one thought on my mind: I have to squeeze out three months-worth of her cuddles and snuggles into this one nestle.

She mimics my gesture--granting me permission--and we step into each other's embrace.

The clutch is warm and comforting, like the reunion of older and younger sisters after spending months away from each other.

I could have stayed there forever with my head pressing into her chest as she cradles me close--my arms wrapping around her lower torso and under her own arms, which lay on top of my shoulders like a cozy winter blanket; though the embrace only lasts a few seconds, and I know better.

Before we separate, she whispers in my ear, "I promise."

And so we part (before I'm able to whimper and almost blubber again) with our final, official goodbyes for the summer, and I drive off with her embrace (and her promise) on my mind.