fanfics i made late at night that probably don't make much sense

the weeknd had to sleep on my couch (not clickbait!)

i'm married to some british dude named tom holland but sometimes i need a break drom him cause he looks like a frog. anyway i decide to go to the club one night to find some hot single men and you know who i see? the mf weeknd himself. in the flesh. of course i have to walk over and introduce mysef. "hey daddy." i say with a smirk. "oh hey bich." he says looking up from the coke he was hust snorting. "can you come home with me tonightc" i ask. "sure why not?" he shrugs. blah blah blah boring stuff. anyway we leave the club and get in his mercedes. i look at him with a disgusted look and say "bro i expected you to have a tesla" but he jst said "what do you mean? i drive a mercedes" so i told him the address and we went to the house that me and tom share. luckily everyone in the house is asleep so we don't have yo worry about gettint caught. we sneak up to me and toma bedroom byt toms asleep in it even though i told him to sleep on the fucking couch tonught. oh wel. i huess we jusy have to deal with the consequences when he wakes up cause im sefinitely not passing the opportunity to get some homb ass dick. but as soon as he twkes off his shirt he starts singing "baby i can make that Bussy raaaiaiiin often" which wakes up tom immediately. "what the fuck is yoing on here?" he asks. "um im just listening to the weeknd again." i say. "nice try you dumb bitch. hes right here. wait a damn minute. stop the mf music. why is he in our bedroom?" my froggy husband asks. "cause hes sexy and got that bomb ass dick tho." i say. "thats it. youre sleeping with me. and you" he points at the weeknd "youre sleeong on the couch." "but i always tel you to sleep on the couch. why him and not you?" i ask. "cause im your god damn husband you fucking idiot/" tom aays. so the werknd sobs himself to sleep on our cheap ass couch we found in the hood. rhe end 💕