Have you?

 I'm pretty, they say, but all I see are my imperfections. I'm smart, they say, but I failed my Add Math test even after I studied all week. I'm talented, they say, but yet nothing I do is even complemented. I'm strong, they say, but I cried myself to sleep last light. I'm destined for success, they say, but why do I feel like a failure? I'm perfect the way I am, they say, but why do I feel so worthless? I have it all, they say, but I feel so empty inside. I'm ugly. I'm stupid. I'm a waste of time. I'm a failure. I'm worthless. I hate myself.

 It's stupid isn't it? To be living in the past like I am. After all, every day is supposed to be a new adventure. I've spent my entire life, fifteen years, trying to be the perfect child. I try to be the best at everything because I want them to be proud of me like they are of my sister and my cousins and my second cousins. I want to be the one who everyone remembers because of my accomplishments. I try and I try and I try but I'll never be good enough.

 I taught myself to read when I was one and a half years old. I began learning Secondary School Mathematics when I was five. I learned to swim in five days and well, I'm writing on Wattpad. I was promoted to the Advanced Gymnastics class on my second day and I began Public Speaking when I was a four-year-old. They thought that I would be a genius. They thought that I would be great. I strived to keep that image up. I tried to make them believe that I am perfect.

 I failed my exam at the end of Primary school. Okay, that's an exaggeration. I placed in the first six hundred. But I should have topped the country. I wasn't the first to go to my dream school. I went to my second choice instead and that was a point which shattered me because that was my first failure.

 I tried to kill myself when I was eleven years old. Yeah, one stupid exam made me want to end my life. At this point, anyone would say that I'm crazy. Maybe I am. I starved myself for two months. I even hung the noose. It's a good thing I'm a coward. I admitted that I hated life and that I wanted to die when I was twelve year old. Now, I'm an attention-seeking little brat who just wants to waste her life and blame her failure on some irrelevant, exaggerated condition that she doesn't even have. So I cried my eyes out and locked myself away for three day only coming out of my room to use the bathroom, bathe, collect my food and smuggle a knife into my room. The stray dogs outside my house feasted well and my floor enjoyed the taste of blood. Thank God that I couldn't bring myself to press harder.

 I'm in my Fourth Year of Secondary School. I'm in the Science class and everyone thinks that I'm crazy. Why? Because I'm doing twelve subjects. I hate Math, I always have but it's compulsory and even if it wasn't I would have done it because it's expected of me. I love English Language and Literature. I guess I love it because people expect me to view it as a waste of time. I like Biology but that's because there's so much theory in it. It's a nice subject so I'm glad that the school is forcing me to do it. Even if they weren't forcing me, I would have done it anyway because I actually like it. Geography is so-so. I both like it and hate it. I guess I have nothing to say about it. If I could drop French I would because I can't even read it. When I see French words, the letters float of the page and rearrange themselves to form English words. I wish my parents would understand that. I hate Religious Knowledge because it just reminds me how terrible and worthless I am. Additional Mathematics is a nightmare at best. I hate the subject with a burning passion? Why am I doing it? For the same reason I'm doing Technical Drawing, Physics and Chemistry. Because they expect me to. That's why I'm doing Social Studies and History. I love those two subjects but I'd have never gotten to choose them.

 I'm a failure. I can't even pass a stupid take-home assignment! I'm as dumb as a door knob. But my parents just say that I'm lazy and I do no work. Do they try to help me? No. They refuse to send me to lessons because it's "just a waste of money because if I tried harder and stopped wasting my life, I'd do better." I already have no life.