Act 1 Scene 3

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(Jeremy is in the bathroom trying to wash boyf off of his backpack until Rich enters the room...)

"Oh god." Rich mumbled knowing what was about to happen.

"Hey, what's up Rich?" Jake asked, hearing what Rich said.

"You'll thee.." Rich said back.
Jake put his arm around Rich whilst he quietly shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

The SQUIP Song

Rich (sung)
Freshman year
I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue

Rich instantly held onto Jakes jacket and hid his face in his chest.

I was a loser just like you
Good times would only...
Soar byyyyy...
I was GROSS
As every female could attest
My sexting was a futile quest

"Eww." Chloe said but then realised it wasn't the time.

My little penis was...
depressed...

"We didn't need to know tha-" Jeremy said, getting interrupted by Michael elbowing his side. "Ow!" He slapped the other boy's arm, "Michael Mell!" Michael covered his ears at the sheer volume of his boyfriend, but laughed nevertheless.

He was so lonely...
Poor guy!
I was hopeless, hopeless
I was helpless, helpless
Every time I'd walk the hallway I would trip
I was stagnant and idol
I was so suicidal

"I never knew that." Jake said sadly.

"Hey, I'th okay, I don't even know if you knew me in Freshman year." He tried to smile at the other boy, rubbing his arm.

And then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then
I got a SQUIP

"It's me!" The SQUIP said happily.

"Shut up, you Tic Tack!" Michael shouted at them. Making Rich laugh slightly. Jake smiled, not a lot but a little bit.

Jeremy (spoken)
You got quick?

Brooke and Chloe laughed making Jeremy blush in embarrassment.

Rich (spoken)
Not quick, SQUIP.

Jeremy (spoken)
I've just.. never heard of it before

Jeremy (spoken)
Yeah, that's the point! This is some top-secret-can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet-shit.

"Well I found it, can't be that hard! Either that or I'm just, so, so clever-" Michael joked, just before Jeremy put his hand over Mike's mouth. Soon after, Mike licked Jere's hand making him screech in horror, making everyone laugh.

Rich (sung)
It's from Japan
It's a grey oblong pill
Quantum nano-technology CPU
The quantum computer in the pill
Will travel through your blood until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do.

"Rich, that was amazing! Teach me!" Christine screeched whilst clapping.

"I didn't learn it. It wath my THQUIP. But I appreciate the comment."

Jeremy (spoken)
So it's like...
Drugs...

Rich (spoken)
It's better than drugs Jeremy...

Rich (sung and ensemble)
IT'S FROM JAPAN!!!

"Oh my gosh Rich that's amazing!" Christine gushed, "You totally need to join one of our plays!"

Rich sniffed, "Thankth again, Chrith. I'll think about it."

(Ah ah ah ah ah)
It's a grey oblong pill
(Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah)
Quantum nano-technology CPU
(Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah)
The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until
(Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah)
It implants in your brain and it tells you what to do.

"Yeah that sounds nice." mumbled Jenna earning a punch from Christine.

(Ah ah ah ah ah)
Tells you what to do
It's preprogrammed (ohhhhhh)
It's amazing (ohhhhhh)

"Affirmative," The SQUIP said, agreeing with the Rich on screen.

"No!" Michael sang to the SQUIP getting a scoff from them.

Speaks to you directly (ohhhhhhh ahah)
You behave as (ohhhhh)
It's appraising (ohhhhhhh)
Helps you act correctly (ohhhhhh)

Rich + Ensemble (sung)

It helps you to be cool
It helps you rule

"Helps you to be an asshole." Michael sang again.

Rich (sung)
Cause right now your
Helpless, helpless
Almost, hopeless
On the school social map your just a blip!

"What the heck is a blip?" Chloe and Jenna asked in sync.

"I honethtly don't know, my THQUIP made me thay it," Rich replied still hugging Jake. Neither of them wanted to move though.

But if you: take my advice
And if you pay the listed price

"You scammed me," Jeremy mumbled.

"Maybe it's not the time." Jack scoffed, looking down at the boy with his arms around him.

Then you'll go from: sad to interesting, to hip

"Just sad." Michael said, and Jeremy hugged his arm slighty tighter.

Yeah your whole life will flip

"For the worse." Michael added earning a glare from the SQUIP.

Both (sung)
When you by a SQUIP!!

Rich (sung and ensemble)
Oh a SQUI-I-IP (ohhhhhh ahhhh)
Hey yeah! A SQUIP!! (Ohhhhhhhhh)
Hey YEAH!!!

"Rich! How?!" Christine screamed.
"Pure talent," Rich said making 'jazz hands'.

No longer a drip when you got in your grip.
A SQUIP
A SQUIP
A SQUIP!!!! (Ah ah ah ah ah)
(Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah)

"You sounded great." Brooke complemented.

"Thankth Brooke." Rich said giving a sincere smile.

"The fun begins." The SQUIP said with an evil smirk.

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