Forbidden

Four - Aaron

I can't concentrate. I have three hours until my alarm goes and I should be doing homework and then sleeping. But I can't help it. I pick up the pen and almost snap it in two, because of my fury. I close my eyes and I see my mum's face. Am I going mad? Is this what madness feels like? Or grief? But there is no need for grief, because my mum isn't dead, she's alive, the Queen lied. But what if she covered up her death?

I shake my head, hard. One, two, three times. It doesn't clear. I sigh. I don't even feel sad, just angry and scared and... numb. I feel numb. What is wrong with me? My mum, the only person in this world that cares about me, could be dead and I just feel numb! 'Maybe my dad is right. Maybe I am a waste of space?' I think.

And then the tears come. They flow like rivers down my cheeks and collect on the floor as pools that, in time, will form the ocean.

My alarm goes on my watch. I don't know the time. It isn't really a watch. It's more of a wristband that the whole country is forced to wear that tells us when we need to start or stop doing something depending on how far we need to go from our location to get to wherever we are needed. I am currently being given a wake up reminder so that I am ready for when I get called to leave for school. We are always watched. Always controlled. Always a step away from punishment.

I escaped. My dad has obviously been given a morning off to "mourn" my mum. Like he ever cared about her, let alone loved her. They got paired together by society and then she got pregnant. With me. So he could never leave her. It's why he hates me so much, or at least, it's one of the reasons.

The world is still dark, but it's not pitch black. They haven't turned on the lights yet. It's to try and create a sense of winter, but it doesn't work very well. No one says so, though. It was the Queen's idea. That tells us all how to react.

My school isn't far from my house, all things considered. I can easily walk there in fifteen minutes at a brisk pace. It means I don't have to get up too early, so I have more time to do my homework, but it means I always get there quicker than I would like. But then again, I'd rather not go to school.

At my school, all the students are cruel, stuck-up idiots! I get bullied, but that's a given anyway, and I am far from the only one. Everyone else doesn't care about school. In my area, everyone wants to be in the army, so they have to get bad grades anyway, except for in Physical Education.

The chilly air smacks into my face, pulling me from my thoughts. My hair isn't very long, but I have to brush it out of my face. It was messy anyway. I'm outside the school now. It's not much, just a tall, rectangular concrete block with windows going up the sides. I step up to the door and put my arm under the scanner so it can read my barcode. My number flashes up on the screen then it displays "ACCESS GRANTED", whilst reading that allowed in a robotic voice. A click and the door is ajar. I push it open and a loud chorus of voices and laughter fills my ears. I take a step forward.

The day has begun.