hazbin hotel: A DOOMing situation (doom and hazbin crossover comedy short)

a demonicly DOOMing situation.

Btw quick warning this had some potentially offensive jokes for some peoplr in it so you were warned.

Lucifer appeared at satan's domain or fortress where "steroid built goat associate" to Lucifer's thoughts on him summoned him. Lucifer smiled with "I received your message for a favor my easy to anger friend! So what is the thing blocking your goals my friend?" The mountain goat horned demon growled aloud with "Lucifer if I had any other option I would not be asking for help from your proud pompous ass!" The large mountain of a demon sat back on his throne hands wiping his face in frustration and continued with "But with how badly my men are being slaughtered on my mission for control of earth by one measly human is really putting me at my fucking limit and I'm for once in my existence unlike you swallowing my pride at even asking so can you at least not be a fucking dick?"

Lucifer shrugs with "Well since I am enjoying  you suffing by swallowing your pride I suppose I'll see what I.....wait!? Correct me if I'm wrong but did you say a mortal man is kicking your legions rear's so bad they may as well had there heads severed and shoved up they're asses!?" Lucifer was trying hard to not laugh barely holding composure with satan getting up angrily with "YES! And how did you know he killed one of my strongest demons that way!?" Lucifer busted up laughing and rolling on the ground unable to take it anymore.

Lucifer then yelled "By my red hot fucking ass this is priceless! One if the best thing's I've ever heard of such a great joke! Pfft! The thought of a human mortal having the strength to lift a entire head of one of your cyber demons is hilarious!"

Immediately satan gave him a glare that he wasnt fucking joking.

Lucifer calmed down with realizing "Wait! Your serious? No no I don't believe it you keep track of your demons you got proof?" Immediately lucifer groaned snapping his fingers for a mirror to show what happened earlier lucifer holding his composure at a cyber demon of all things defeated in such a manner let alone the part where he watched the armored human lifted the heavy weight of the head himself and proceeded to actually do what he joked about.

Lucifer's jaw dropped at the end with "How do they make humans nowadays? The man is like something out of that heretic Greek myth Hercules!? Also your men are weak. Holy shit I thought beezlebubs flies were weak." Satan growled with "The little shit actually popped up in and out of hell a few times and slaughtered anyone in front of him including my men out there! We keep having to fucking waste our fucking energy on sending his ass back only for him to pop up again! It's really making me insane more then usual."

Lucifer grinned with "Huh? So that's why theres a servants head on a platter of his own decapitated body leaning on your throne! Seems this really is making you angry!" Satan groaned with "Listen to me smart ass I just want a way to keep him out of this particular dimension in hell. Let alone him out of my side."

Lucifer then asked "Let's play three questions! Like twenty questions but only three! Why he is so literally hell bent on ripping your men apart? You killed his family?" Satan glared with "Your enjoying this arent you?" Lucifer nodded twirling his can with "Of course! But play along you could use the distraction I'm sure!" Lucifer advised in hidden deceit knowing he would just not be distracted by playing anyway.

Satan sighed "No we didn't kill his family." Lucifer then asked "violated him or someone he loved?" Satan glared "I'm a wrath demon lord not a glutton or lust one." Lucifer then asked "Kidnapped a loved one?" Satan then said confused with "Wrath lord not greed besides what the fuck would I get out of all this cost I'm putting to take him out let alone hes just some fucking marine on mars gone apeshit."

Lucifer sighed shrugging with "Well that was my three guesses okay what did you do to cause so much bloodlust in a man to destroy so much of yours?" Satan sighed having to admit this he quietly said mumbling  "...killed his pet rabbit." Lucifer then said "Pardon?" Leaning his head forward with satan saying louder but not enough to hear clearly with him visibly getting annoyed. "we..killed his fucking pet rabbit..." lucifer then cupped a hand in his  ear with "Can you say it louder?"

Satan stood up yelling with "WE KILLED HIS FUCKING PET RABBIT OKAY!? YOU HAPPY!?" Lucifer sighed smiling with a hint of a evil grin with "Loud and clear. In fact all I need remember that party you ruined I hosted about fifty or seventy years ago? Welp now I got blackmail!" Lucifer said pulling a recorder out of his pocket with satan growling "Listen here you-" before lucifer interrupted his eyes red horns grown and voice distorted demonic with "NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME MY FOOLISH FRIEND. THIS IS YOUR FUCK UP AND POTENTIAL RECKONING FOR RUINING SOMETHING I WORKED HARD FOR! EITHER YOU AND YOUR MEN GROW SOME BOLLUCKS AND MAN THE FUCK UP AND END IT OR I WILL PERSONALLY HAVE THIS BROADCASTED ACROSS HELL FOR YOUR FAILURE AND INCOMPETENCE TO BE WITNESSED AND MARKED ON YOUR LEGACY FOR DEMONS TO TALK ON FOR ETERNITY!"

Lucifer then recomposed clearing his throat back to his normal self with "Do I make myself clear?" Satan gripped his stone throne so hard in anger it broke the armrest in half with fuming spitting out soothingly "You son of a fucking bitch Lucifer you better fucking dare-" lucifer chuckled with "If anyone's a the bitch here my good friend it's the karma I just bit your ass with my barbaric friend. I promise that as well. You had me fail at making the grand ball by your actions in response I waited patiently for a chance like so to present itself. It couldn't turn out even better I say. Oh and if you fail you will truly know that's how it feels to this day when people laugh and ridiculed my family. Looking forward to watching how this turns out satan!" He ended snapping his fingers disappearing before satan had the chance to grab him and strangle him.

He yelled with "YOU FUCKING MANIPULATIVE PIECE OF...."

Meanwhile in a city 100 miles away from satan's castle.

A demon sighed finally fixing his broken windshield with "Finally got this shit done." Suddenly a loud boom similar to the blast of a nuclear bomb shockwave was heard of "GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!" Suddenly glass started shattering lierally exploding on the stores and homes the man took cover and when it was done he sighed in relief seeing his cars windows didn't even crack with "Thank fuck." Suddenly the light post above hims lightbulb dropped onto his windshield going right through it into the driver seat. He sighed with "Why did I have to be a fucking asshole in life?"

At a opera house a woman who was doing her performance was about to do her grand finale the audience enjoying every moment until "GODDAMN IT!" was heard throughout the opera house. Immediately everyone started booing and throwing tomatoes and anything they could find the stage performers running for cover.

Satan breathed heavily done wrecking his place. In the corner of his eye he saw the one thing that caused all this rage in him. It pulled out a demonic energy sword as satan pulled out a demonic energy battle axe with "YOU ARE SO FUCKING DOOMED YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

Doom guy silently shook his head no then pointed at him and doing a thumbs down sign basically saying in sign language "I ain't the one doomed.. you are." As both charged at each other ready to rip and tear at each other until the fight was done!