Chapter 11: Raise Your Voice

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Side A: Mitzi

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Side A: Mitzi

During lunch Shawna, Casey, and Elsie are all on their phones, with their earbuds half in. To be fair, I have my phone out too, but I'm mostly trying to catch a glimpse of their screens to see what songs they're looking up.

Miss Burgess told us we were going to have practice auditions during class today. We'll be singing a song a cappella, in front of everyone. Auditioning is an important skill for a musical career, she told us. "It's like a job interview for music."

Yesterday, we were instructed to come dressed "appropriately" and to have a song ready. "I'll be grading this exercise on your poise, professionalism, and preparedness," she informed us. My stomach dropped out at the word grading. Was voice class not pass/fail at this school?

I was planning to fail at the real audition. This practice audition has thrown me for a loop. Do I have to fail this audition, too, so Miss Burgess expects me to be terrible at the real audition? Will the real audition be graded? If I sing off-key or forget the lyrics or trip over something, will I get an F?

And until this moment, I hadn't really considered my song choice. I figured I could sing "Alone" by Heart because that's my favorite for belting out in my workshop, but now I'm imagining what Shawna will think of that. They might think that I'm really lonely and start pushing super hard for me to get a boyfriend for the Valentine's Dance. They might decide I'm a huge loser because I chose this old song they've never heard.

I go through the songs on my phone: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"? It's an oldie, but popular enough that they've probably heard it. Doing it a cappella, though... yikes. Journey's "Don't Stop Believin"? Again, everyone knows it, so it's a safe choice. I also like "Sunday Bloody Sunday" but there are a lot of lyrics that I will probably forget once I'm standing in front of people.

The bits of songs that Shawna's singing now sounds pretty easy. The kind of song you nod your head to on the radio but doesn't have much range. I can't think of any songs like that, not that I know all the words to. Or maybe I do, but I'm in panic mode now and I can't think of any songs except the ones on my phone.

When the bell rings, I jump. "Someone's nervous!" Shawna sings as they calmly get their stuff together.

I sling on my backpack and try to laugh it off. "Just a little. Okay, a lot!" I didn't mean to say that last part. I suppose, if they're my friends, I need to trust them with my feelings a little bit, right? My stomach gurgles. I tell myself it's hunger and not a potential vom situation. All I ate for lunch were carrots and ranch dressing.

All through my next class I'm dying. It's math, so it doesn't really matter if I pay attention or not - I'm not going to understand it. Therefore, I spend the whole class period freaking out. I try to write down all the lyrics from "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" from memory. I woke up in the middle of the night, I write, then scribble it out. My phone rings in the middle of the night. No, that's the second verse.

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