A prompt from a Halloween story (mk)

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Okay so at my school we had to make Halloween stories in September to October, the nerd I am decided to do the story based on two markiplier alter egos called 'the author' and 'the host'. I was kinda disappointed with the story but kinda not. So I'm going to redo the opening paragraph, for comparison and to see what other people might think of it.

This is the original:

As the man reached out he couldn't help but scream. Would you? Would you scream if you had just been shot in the back? Would you be silent if you knew you would bleed to death. Alone. In a cabin in the woods. Where you knew no one would find you. But it's not like anyone would help you anyway. You are alone. And so is he.

Here is the rewrite:

The man laid there, gripping at his wound. A pained expression on his face. He wanted this to be over, but he knew this was a feeling that would stay for longer than it should. He tried to reach out and grab his nearby desk for support, only for his to let out an agonizing, yet somehow quiet scream. He tried staying silent in hopes the former participants of his story wouldn't come back to finish the job, but his silent scream wasn't ceasing.

Would you be silent if you were shot in the back? Would you call for help because you were bleeding to death, but you wouldn't die? Would you want someone, anyone to find you, despite what you have done? No. You wouldn't.

You would be alone, the only thing you'd know was pain.

Because that's what he's experiencing. Pain.

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Oof so I made that a bit better than I expected.

As you can see, I am a very morbid writer and that's why I mostly don't write what I think about things. Also if you were wondering, the character the story was talking about in those paragraphs was the author. Basically he has/had the ability to write thing into existence, aka he likes making stories about people dying or going insane, then during one story his participants retaliated and shot him leaving him in his cabin. People speculate that he then became a character named the host, due to their similar names and the fact that they were coming from the same series. 

Please take a look at the two episodes from the series, it's called 'danger in fiction' by Cyndago on YouTube. 

Anyways, I hoped you like this. I'm going to be taking writing requests, but no smut or fluff. That is some cursed shit.


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