diabolik lovers one shots

"Stay Safe!" by yours truly

*walks in with a medical mask on*

Hii everyone it's author ewa. Pretty sure most of y'all are doing online school by now, hope you're all making the most of your time off.

If you're not then I don't blame you oof. We all need the break, even if we're under these circumstances.

Speaking of these circumstances. We are here to speak—

Protective Measures against COVID-19

*insert relaxing opera music*

Presenting your host: Reiji Sakamaki

*Reiji walks in with a medical mask on*

I am entrusting you with the readers, Reiji~! See you~!

Reiji: thank you, Miss ewa

Reiji: I do not need these kinds of things on my face, but you pathetic creatures seem you can't live without it in this ordeal that your own kind has created. Creating viruses, diseases and such, the level of stupidity is uncanny. Humans really are nuisances.

Reiji: Be honored that I am guiding you with my knowledge on avoiding sickness, as you have such a short life span. *pushes up glasses*

Reiji: please follow thoroughly

—

Reiji: if you are sneezing or have a cough, consider wearing a mask. (This is not mandatory) avoid touching the mask if you do.

/author: gloves are also a good use, but it isn't mandatory!/

Reiji: *remember to always cough or sneeze into the inside of your elbow, when you are in public*

Reiji: please stay home if you are feeling sick, we don't need anymore walking setbacks.

Reiji: like this disappointment over here *gestures to Shuu*

Shuu: zzz

Reiji: tch, moving on

Reiji: clean your hands thoroughly and frequently with alcohol based hand rub, and or wash them with soap and water.

/author: here's a tip: sing "happy birthday" twice while washing your hands!/

Laito: Reijii~! ♡ like this~!

Reiji: yes, you use hand sanitizer like th—what?! Don't rub it there! Stop dirtying our hygiene supplies! 

—

Reiji: refrain from touching your face, mouth, eyes or nose.

Ayato: like this? *sticks pinkies up his nose*

Reiji: ugh, what an embarrassment.

Reiji: keep a safe distancing from others who are sick.

/author: avoid being around large crowds of people!/

Kou: *COUGH COuGghH*

Subaru: WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU COUGH ON ME!?!

Kou: *sniffs* oh hi Subaru~! Sorry didn't see you there. Guess you aren't important.

Subaru: YOU—!

"#%*&$!!!"

Reiji: ugh! Please do not cough on others! And do not follow anything these imbeciles are doing behind me! They are the definition of unhygienic and meaning of unhealthy choices!

Reiji: if you suspect infection, call your doctor or seek medical care immediately.

Reiji: thank you for your ti—

Ayato: hey! Who are you calling embarrassment?!

Ayato: yours truly is always healthy!

Reiji: disgraceful Ayato. This is an idea from miss ewa to inform and guide our readers on healthy choices, and avoiding sickness for the awaited vaccination!

Reiji: not that I care what happens to them anyway.

Ayato: her idea?! Yeah right, we're the main stars of the show.

Ayato: psh! Yours truly is taking credit.

—~—~—~—~—~—~—~
♡ stay clean, stay safe!