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Chapter 1

Dear Craine's Diary,

1 week nalang before the first day of classes. We're going to buy some of the things that I needed.

I went to the mall with my mother. We went through a bookstore. I bought some of my desired books and some school supplies like pens and papers. After we bought those things akala ko we will bond like the other mother and daughters do when they're together.

My mother decided na kumain muna bago kami umuwi. So we went through her favorite Italian restaurant. She ordered her favorite "Focaccia Bread" for the both of us, not knowing that I'm allergic to any kind cheese.

Focaccia Bread is a fresh dough that is topped with caramelized onions, olives, tomato slices, basil leaves, grated parmesan cheese.

While waiting for the food, mama's phone suddenly rang. I accidentally saw who called. It is named "sweetheart." It's sad knowing that my father left us a month ago because he can't stand my mother's attitude. My father decided to get me but my mother didn't let her.

I just stayed quiet and stared at her phone ringing and ringing like she doesn't want to pick it up. My senses got back when she suddenly called my name. This is new. This is the first time na tinawag niya ako by my name. She used to call me bitch. She asked me, "what are you looking at Craine?" even though she called me by my name that time, her voice are the same. Bitchy and high-toned.

The food finally arrived. I just stared at the focaccia bread for a minute and took a deep breath. I said to myself that it's okay Craine, if you died because of your allergy they'll be happy.

I was about to get the focaccia bread when some stranger arrive. My mother stood up and kissed the stranger.

"Ma, who is he?" I asked her.
"Oh, him? He's my boyfriend." She answered.
"But ma? Papa just left us a month ago right? Why is it too fast for you to have a boyfriend?" I calmly asked.
"Who are you to asked me those kind of questions?" My mother replied.
"Ma, I'm your daughter." I answered with a teary-eyed. Unexpectedly, she just laughed and answered, "you're just my daughter, so don't act and ask as if you control me because you're born to served for me. Get that?" I just kept my mouth shut after she said those things.

"Hey bitch, don't eat that focaccia bread nga pala ha? It's not for you, it's for him." She suddenly said then handed me a twenty-peso bill.
"Anong gagawin ko sa twenty-pesos?" I asked.
"Buy your food, make sure na kasya yung mabibili mo hanggang bukas ha?"
Her boyfriend interrupted then he smirked at me.

I kept the twenty-peso bill that she handed to me. I was about to sit on the chair when my mother suddenly pushed me. I fell on the floor. I just stared at them then asked, "why did you pushed me?"

"Oops, sorry dear, that seat doesn't belongs to you." She answered while he's boyfriend started to sit on the chair.

I just kept my mouth shut at kinuha nalang yung mga biniling gamit para sa school. I said goodbye to them and started walking away from them. I examined the place before I left.

Just what I thought, the other people na nandoon sa loob ng Italian Restaurant na iyon, they were talking about me. Laughing of what happened before I left.

I'm wishing na hahabulin ako ni mama and she will say her sorry but she didn't. I realised, I'm not important nga pala. She's just using me. Nandito lang naman ako para pagsilbihan siya eh. I'm just here to be used by her. Para magpakaalipin.

I'm always trying to be a perfect daughter. Hindi na nga ako umaangal sa mga pinapagawa nya kahit masakit na sakin. Nag-aaral akong mabuti kahit nakahome school lang ako. Even though I really want to go outside, hindi ko ginawa. I'm always thinking of how to be a perfect daughter or how to be a daughter that she wants. I hate it. I always feel that I'm a useless kind of sh*t.