Goodbye Disorder

Part 8

Virgil ran away from the dinning room down the hall. He honestly couldn't take it anymore all the hate and disappointment, it tore him down inside. And nobody noticed, or if they did then they didn't bother to care.

He slowly slipped down the wall, sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. This whole time he told himself nobody liked him, that Patton was just pretending. And though he truly did believe it, there was always a small sliver of hope he had that maybe just maybe somebody did care. That they cared that they weren't faking and that they actually wanted him to be with them.

But what he had just heard had demolished all his hope of ever being family with them. He told himself that he was severing any small renaming ties with them.

With that he walked into the memory room to find out what did cause the earlier panic attack. Looking in on the event he found out that it was not his fault. Princey was being so fictional over life, and logic being his logical self disagreed with him and gave a logical view on how bad life can be sometimes. That was almost like a hit of reality to Thomas. It was like when your a child and you think the world is all bright and bubbly. But hen reality hits you and sometimes it knocks you down, hard.

Virgil could relate to that, and even though that panic attack wasn't Virgils fault. He still felt sorry, because he blamed himself and he could understand what Thomas was feeling. Because even though Thomas's issues might not have been as extreme as Virgils, that should t make them any less important.

Virgil swiftly left the room after that. He started feeling the urge to punish himself for what had happened to Thomas. That's right you go to your room. You know exactly what to do. Just stay focused on getting to that room, because when you do you will be able to feel the sweet pleasure of pain and see the lovely sight of blood as it trickles down you arms.

Not soon enough for himself, Virgil made it to his room. He ran towards the closest sharp object. It happened to be a shard of glass, lying on his vanity almost as if it was calling his name. -Virgil, come here Virgil. You know what to do with me. That's right, come to me.

Virgil made it to the vanity and grabbed the glass. He then proceeded to sit on the ground and roll up his sleeves. He made the first few cuts with his face a plain expression. Then the attacks started.

He just couldn't handle it anymore. The constant cycle of his life. It was like everyday was a repeat of the same horrible things, this unescapable loop of pain and misery. He just wanted it to stop. And there was only one way to to that. Virgil looked towards his arms and began rapidly making cuts, he didn't care how deep or long they were he just kept cutting and cutting and cutting.

But they he stoped, the glass held in his hands right over the veins on his wrists. Freedom was so close, he could almost feel the clarity. He had nothing else to live for, just earlier he said he had severed all ties with the others.

Only then did he realize that he had not. He had almost severed every tie of ever being with them, but one managed to remain. As much as he hated to admit it, he still hadn't given up on Roman. His feelings for him were to strong.

Virgil dropped the glass and sat there. Hanging on by a thread. He was only seconds away from ending it all, but there was still one small chance. The only light in the darkness of his life.

It didn't shine bright, but at that point in time all Virgil cared about was the it did shine.
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Nobody was awake at that time except Virgil. Nobody new of the decision he had just made to chose life. Nobody heard him as he sang,

This Little Light Of Mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,
This Little Light Of Mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,
This Little Light Of Mine,
Yes, I'm gonna let it shine,
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
The light that shines is the light of love,
Lights the darkness from above,
It shines on you and it shines on me,
And it shows what the light of love can do.
I'm gonna shine my light both far and near,
I'm gonna shine mine light bright and clear,
Where there's a dark corner in this land
I'm gonna let my little light shine.
This Little Light Of Mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,
This Little Light Of Mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,
This Little Light Of Mine,
Yes, I'm gonna let it shine,
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine