"The stress of falling out of it".
"Are you sick of me yet".
Nothing gives me happiness anymore in life. I went to college and everyone hates me there. I'm not surprised. My girlfriend cheating on my with my basketball coach. I went a party and I was outlasted. Probably for the best. For the best. I can't do anything right anyway. I come to realization that I. Don't know what it's like to be human. I'm often upset that I can't fall in love anymore. After I was betrayed by her. I didn't fell sad that she was cheating on me just. I felt more relieved but I even though I didn't care. It was the last straw.
So I'm here on the basket court. Crying my eyes out and Listening to sad songs. Wallowing in my own self pity. I feel like the color has drained out of my life. If there was color before. Life is hard. And stupid. I've cried over stupid things. It feels that I have since high school lived a lie. I didn't love her. I was just scared of the loneliness taking over me. But I don't know if I loved her. I just can't make up make my mind.
About life of how the live life without hurt. I'm going to leave college maybe give up or maybe just not show up to class and get all of my stuff online instead. I bet no one would notice anyway. Beacause I'm alone in life that's why no one stuck up for me. I deserved. Tears are now clouding my vision. I just want to never be seen. Not die just disappear from here. I just can't put into words to Express how much I think I'm suffering from my own faults. I hope someone or something will welcome me with open arms.
Everyone will be better without me.
This court is comfortable. That's really werid maybe I'm not only depressed but insane too. I just wanna disappear
