My Heart regrets loosing you my best friend . I wake up each day to realize your not there . I wake from dreams of us still being friends of us having dreams of growing old together and laughing about all the good times we had . I regret saying all the hurtful things I said to you on the phone the last time we spoke . I was grieving and when I grieve I tend to self sabotage and push people away . I realize you were hurting to and this didnt help . Waking up each day now that we are in a crisis and you not having your best friend to talk to someone you can confide in like you used to scares the hell out of me because I remember your panic attacks and how you used to call me and how I used to calm you down . I remember how you used to calm me down during thunderstorms . We both were each others rock and I destroyed that . I hope one day you can forgive me because I'm still beating myself up inside loosing you as a friend us the worst reget of my life and if I have to go to my grave saying that I will . You forever best friend Matthew .
