secret dating

My friends always says that life without a guy is nothing,it always good to have a guy in one's life.
As a teenager am I supposed to have a secret lover but I have no one to give an answer to my question.
Going out with my friends and their secret lover am always lonely,the solution to my problem is to get a secret lover.but I wish I could be a virgin till my wedding night but my decision makes it not to work.
Finally I met a guy his name is Collins.
We started our dating as secret dating couse my parents must not know about it.my dating with Collins was a great one even my friends are jealous our love,for some months that we have been dating I am scared to go to his house to visit him.he always ask me to come to his house but I think it a bad thing going to his house .but for the strong love I have for him I decided to visit him one day .
Dressed in one of my best clothes he was very happy to see me in his house.he told me he was the only one at home I was very scared.
He serve me some drinks and we both gist about some things after some hours he told me he wants to show me something in his bedroom,I was surprised that want is so important that he wants to show me.
His bedroom was lovely and neat I sat on his bed,he ask me to close my eyes,his hand was moving round my body that was feeling ....... horny .
We kissed each other for long that I can't even control my self .
His undress himself and undress me too,I was weak that I can't even tell him to stop.
He had sex with me and that was how I lost my virginity at the age of sixteen.
My plan of being a virgin till my wedding night as been spoilt,i have no choice then to move on like what my friends use to say 'sex is fun'
After some weeks I was feeling sick ,I was unable to go to school my Mom was worried.
I was taken to the hospital for test to know wrong with me.
My test result was a sad one my mom was very disappointed in me I was very ashamed of myself.
I cried bitterly but it to late.i called Collins he was very angry and told me to get rid of that pregnancy  because is not ready to be a father .
Things are now worse,I have no one to stand by me.my friends are now the one making jest of me,what a wicked world.
I plan on how to get rid of the pregnancy so I took some abortion pill.
It was very powerful that I was rush to hospital by my mom what a great woman she's always there for me but I pay her back in wrong way
The doctor told my mom I use some abortion pill that has damaged my womb.if not for her that I will have been dead by now.my mother cried bitterly,
When I was told about my health I cried bitterly because my life have been ruined.
I lost my virginity at age sixteen and at age sixteen I have no womb what a useless life.
I ruined my life because I want to be like my friends but I have no luck like them.
Now no virginity no womb
Just empty!!
I wish I had waited for the best time for me .
Always wait for your time your time is different from others.
Be wise